I hate how there are so many things you remember wanting to say to someone as soon as they leave. I suppose this is my way of getting those thoughts out, because I don't want to forget them.

I don't want to blame myself, and I know others will tell me not to. I know why you left, but I should've told you exactly how much you meant to me while I still had the chance. Who am I now? I feel like every time I check I expect you to be there, but you're never gonna be now. I remember the last conversation we had, I'm praying that you believed my very words. Even though you refused to promise, I hope I was convincing enough for you to see the truth. I know you'll never read this, but I want to imagine i'm still talking to you. I'm not ready to lose you yet. Even though I already have.