It's just.. not the connection I seek. I seek something more deep and close, if that make sense.

And I understand that I've only been on here for two days, but I genuinely want to talk and get to know you all. Like I crave the feeling of having friendships, but in all honesty, that probably won't be happening anytime soon. Especially since it's through a screen. And I'm also a really awkward person and not too pleasant to be around. A lot of you will get tired of me quickly or will just find me annoying before anything gets deep.

No, I'm not asking for pity, just an understanding. Know that this not me being manipulative, just stating a fact.

I genuinely want a friend to rely on and talk about my hyper-fixations without them getting annoyed or tired of me. I want something real.