I started out wondering if I would ever like anyone at all. I didn't start developing real crushes on anybody when others around me joked about liking people. It was a bit of a strange experience. I would pretend to like famous people so that others wouldn't find me weird (like my mom, who asked me if I was on "team edward" or "team jacob" since she was a twilight superfan for a long time). I didn't want to tell her I didn't like either and js wanted to watch the movie bcs she's always been very controlling abt my romantic life (she's homophobic and insists that I get married to a man and have children and that if I didn't, then that would be me betraying her?)

It was like that for a while. Until I started feeling strongly about fictional characters. LOL. At first it was male characters. I realized, though, that I still despised real life men and would never have crushes on any of them. Then, when I was around 10 or 11, I started liking female charcters. And then I started liking some of my female classmates: forming very close bonds with them and finding the idea of them being my girlfriend appealing. I had a few girlfriends throughout middle school and up into junior high. That's when I finally decided to identify as lesbian (only for a while, though). This was a anxious change for me bcs of my very conservative family. It felt right, but I still was told that it was a wrong thing for girls to like girls.

Lesbian was not right, however, since I still found myself very attracted to masculinity. Or at least, the fictional kind that I was seeing. So, I stopped identifying as lesbian when one of my pansexual friends explained to me what that was. It took me a long time to develop a crush on a man irl. I was like 14 when I had my first crush on a boy. That was when I realized it wasn't that I didn't like irl boys, it was that legit all of the boys I knew were disgusting, bullying, homophobic, cowardly, jerks (I live in the bible belt, if that makes that make more sense). So, yeah. I realized I liked men even more than I liked women when I could find a man who wasn't a j3rk.

This became very evident when I realized I wanted a boyfriend more than a girlfriend, and that I couldn't really see myself having a crush on woman and pursuing a relationship with one to the same extent that I would for a man (unless me and a woman js rlly click and I find her very cute lol). Though, that's ironic, because I've only had one bf and that lasted zero time whatsoever. I've had a lot more boycrushes now, though as compared to girlcrushes (I can and still do have those tho).

As far as who I find physically more attractive, both genders are equally hot. LOL. Though, if I had to specify a type, I really dig a pretty, almost feminine guy. :)

So, I kept going with pansexual even though I had realized by now that I actually had a preference for men and really only sought close, emotional bonds with women most of the time. Then I discovered omnisexual, and started identifying with that very recently. I still slip up and say I'm pan on accident. I did it when I was first creating my profile here on BDNS. Wrote "panromantic" instead of "omniromantic."

So, here I am. Went from kind of asexual (which is a whole other thing), to lesbian, to pan, to omni with a male preference. Kind of weird how I started out lesbian and then now I realized I prefer guys.

Being queer is definitely weird, but a good kind of weird.

I have to pretend I'm not queer around my parents, and on top of that, act like their homophobic jokes are hilarious since they already found out I identified as demigirl like 2 years ago. I have to pretend I'm "reformed" and that I've "repented" (like I can repent something I can't help) of my sinful gender dyphoria.... Ugh.

I realized this was a dysphoria problem later in life, but I never knew how I identified. I wasn't trans. I've never wanted to be masculine. Not quite nonbinary: I've always felt comfortable in femininity and more "girly" aestheticism, but most of the time, hearing she/her when others referred to me still didn't feel quite right on most days, though the pronouns don't bother me necessarily.

So, I struggled. I felt my dysphoria was more invalid. I felt like a strange "she-thing" instead of a definite girl. Like a feminine being, but not a woman. I went through a few flags throughout life. I started with agender, then I decided I preferred nonbinary, then I gave up on that and just said I was perhaps a tomboy. I went with tomboy for a while until I came across "demigirl" on the internet. It made me so happy, because while I was identifying as nonbinary and agender, they/them felt good when I heard it, but still not right. I don't feel genderless, and I identify with femininity, and demigirl allows me to express that. :)

With demigirl, I can now profess that what I think my official gender identity is is "she-being," and be proud of it. lmao

I'm gay, plain gay, I adore men, I love them, they hot af

i just kinda got alot woker since then
currently mlm an boyflux
(it/its or he/him preffered)

Now I done my research, I am a demigirl + genderfluid woman. I'm also omnisexual.

Now for my sexuality, as i said, i was a lesbian at around eight, but that moved into being bi, then pan and ace, which became Omni with a male preference + AroAce (My ex fu​cked up dating for me), but i realized i wasn't omni, and that i was actually MLM, but the MLM label doesn't take nonbinary people under its wings, So i became Achellian And AroAce!
But then i got hit with the brick that was yumeshipping. So i crammed Fictoromantic into my sexualities!

be who you are guys
let nobody tell you that being queer is weird

ahem so uh being lesbian was kind of an inside joke w my sis until i stumbled across vocaloid n saw teto. i was literally blushing and pissing my pants vro ✌️

about the genderfluid thing, on bdns i prefer he/them pronouns instead of she/them n that pretty much made me start questioning if im genderfluid or not, and yes im still questioning