he was a year younger than me
i met him when i was 13-14ish
he was always shorter than me (though puberty changed the little shit so hes prolly taller)
he had this cute button nose
i loved his beady fcking eyes

lets call him bear

bear was weird, quirky and odd. he always had these antics that endear him to me, and sometimes pissed me tf off; i still loved him anyway.

i used to think of him as a brother. because it was almost like he was. he was annoying as hell, always bugging me and saying things that genuinely rotted my brain. he also wasn’t my type.

one night though, he confessed. i realized i liked him back, although i was hesitant. but i felt connected to him. he could’ve been my love for many following years. (‘cause i knew we wouldn’t last anyway)

he had my humor. he liked the same things i did. he checked all the boxes i didnt know i even had

we did get together. it only lasted a few weeks because i got that itch and i was convinced by my other friend to break it up w him. lets call her j.

it also did end. but neither of our feelings changed. we still had a time we shared ‘ilys’ and exchanged photos. after a while, i had to leave the country due to me moving to spain.

it was also then, i realized how much i actually miss him and how full he made my heart. i still miss him to this day, but not like that. i think back fondly, about the times we spent. i don’t think i’ll ever meet a boy like him again

our chats are still lying dormant around somewhere. i still see the pictures he took of me and the pictures i took of him

i wish i knew how much he means to me. i hope we could be friends again but i don’t know how to build our friendship back up with all the messed up baggage we have left over. i kissed him for the first and last time on my birthday week. like a small gift. that was the last i saw of him.

i left him a book, i think. maybe also my cardigan? and a bracelet for our trio

anyway he’s in a relationship now and i’m genuinely so happy for him. i wish him all the best.

I FLIPPING MISS HIM THOUGHH GOD I WISH HE’D COME BACKKK. bear please if youre still willing, i’d be around 🥹

oo and here’s a kewl sunset pic