@Nonbinary_wolf I'm not the best at trying to cheer people up or even making people looking for the bright side on things, hell I cant do it for my self
but your not alone, everyone here on DNS is here to help you, you made a post not long ago about how if you disappeared that only some people would now were gone, and you were sure that your BF WOULD notice you were gone, that means that's you talk everyday, even though I cant see the messages you've had I'm sure that he loves you, I'm sure the post I made "why is it so hard to get in a relationship" has put doubt in your mind but trust me when I tell you, he's not pulling your strings, it may be in a rocky area but you can never be sure unless you ask him
There is no easy way out, you cant take melatonin to go to sleep because your brain will stop producing and it will be hard, It will be painful, but your no alone, so remember that when your ever feeling doubt