@BBQboi-_ i will give you and admit one thing; i should have said that you don't find any worth in them instead of claiming you say they don't contain any meaning. i was initially gonna go back and fix it, but was too lazy to do so, so that is on my behalf. Although, you completely missed the entire point of my response, but i apologize if i came across as missing yours as well. That was not my intention. TLDR at the end ig
However, while I understand your point of view to an extent, people not knowing what sexualities and terms mean can actually bridge into shared connections and building a strong community. Why? Because connection forms through communication, and simply explaining what those terms mean can even only take up a sentence or two because people are already familiar with the umbrella terms. Getting to know and understand someone is what helps bridges form, conformity holds people back.
And once again, you as well keep claiming that these labels make the community look 'bad' and push allies away, but if they were truly allies, why would they even drift apart from supporting queer individuals in the first place? it just comes off as them, themselves, being performative and couldn't keep up the "woke" front when things get too complicated for them to understand. Also. why should queer people have to cater toward homophobes and others who won't even bother to understand in the first place. Gestures like these only hold the queer community back from being seen and validated as what society views as "normal."
I understand this logic to an extent because I get if it's a super niche and rare sexuality that falls perfectly under and umbrella category, then yeah. You could argue that it's unnecessary. However, micro labels like these can explain certain aspects that aren't particularly seen through the umbrella labels. You even admitted yourself that your own sister was searching for a micro label that suited them, which only just goes to show that some queer people don't feel comfortable using certain labels because it doesn't suit them specifically and she's not alone on feeling this way, hence why certain labels exist.
Also, you claiming that homophobia today isn't as bad as it used to be seems just out of touch. Although, I will acknowledge that you specified in America, but that just portrays this line of thought as if queer culture only exists in America. Legalized Same-Sex marriage only became a thing in 2015, which when regarding how long Queer people have had to fight for their rights, in retrospect isn't long ago at all. In Congress, they're still actively trying to take Trans and Gay Rights away at this very moment. Hell. even gay and trans people today are being killed, there is several reported cases on it in this modern-day. Just because it isn't 'as bad as it used to be,' doesn't mean that it doesn't happen at all. Even in a plethora of other countries, gay marriage is ostracized, illegal, and can even warrant someone being killed, but I digress and won't get into specifics because you specified America.
This is a bit personal on my behalf and not a "hard fact," but it's still worthy to mention; if i came out to my parents: my mother would beat the shit out of me and my father would disown me. If it's like this for me at the moment, I know I'm not the only one. Applying my own logic here, just because I experience something, doesn't mean that everyone else does, but it still occurs.
In this hyper aestheticized society, it's only natural for people to portray the queer community as something that's ornamental, even if they do make light of the specifics. At the end of the day, it's usually a kid or someone young who's doing these actions. They don't know any better, and instead of telling an entirety of a minority in the queer community that their sexuality is baseless and has no worth, it's better to educate them. But even then, what can you really even do? You keep basing that the hyperfocus on identity is what's harming the community, but in a world where they've struggled to find that 'identity' and see themselves as being worthy of even claiming it, it's not a surprise that they do so. It can actually lead them on a journey of self-discovery.
But even then, aestheticization isn't something new or unique to the queer community. If you look anywhere and everywhere on the internet, someone will always make light of something and portray it as something to be romanticized. Whether it'd be mental health, politics, or something as simple as a type of food; it's nothing special for people to try and aestheticized something. It can even be a sort of coping mechanism, but that's a whole other discussion. I'm not fond of the way people in this generation and the way people on the internet work, but I'm not going to sit over here and pretend that it's an LGBTQ only experience.
I also won't touch upon the specifics of those aforementioned sexualities and characteristics of them because you frankly missed the entire point I made, but whatever. I'm also not trying to come off as speaking with my "ego," or anything, i just tend to talk a lot about topics I'm passionate about. Anyways, I also apologize if my wording or explanations are a bit clunky, hard to understand, contain typos, comes off as persuasive, or anything else I missed when addressing you. It's late and I've had a long day. I would like to agree-to=disagree for reasons I'll mention below. I feel like we'll end up getting nowhere since our ideologies are practically on different ends of the spectrum.
something i also wanted to add 4 whatever reason which can also work as a TLDR: people blaming microlabels and neopronouns as well as claiming that it's a large reason for homophobia is a just idiotic, it's such a small percentage of people in the community, and oppressing these ways of self expression is literally the opposite of what we work towards as a whole within queer spaces. The only thing that makes us get taken "less seriously" is the transphobic rhetoric that gets spread around by those outsiders/homophobes. These people will hate us no matter what, why do you want to tear down parts of your own community just to accommodate for them?
Side tangent:
Spoiler
Gonna keep this short and whatever, but I think the main reason we disagree here is because my point of view is to just 'live life the way you wanna, unapologetically, and [censored] whatever other people believe,' while you have a more generalized and actually care what society views you as to an extent. This is obviously me reaching and inferring here, but I just wanted to add this little tidbit. Could be completely wrong, don't fight me for this🥹