I have a problem

[Nonbinary_wolf]

So like the title says, I have a problem. And not 1 of my usual "oh my socially awkward self doesn't understand if something is socially acceptable or not" problems, more like a sleep deprivation problem. That problem is that I can't have slept more than 21 hours in the past 3 weeks, and it's not like I'm doing it on purpose or anything. I just get to thinking and next thing I know, it's 4 in the morning and I have 2 hours until my alarm goes off to get ready for school. The reason for this is that I've been overthinking something that I shouldn't even be worried about.

I've been overthinking on whether my bf actually loves me or if he's just stringing me along. I know he loves me, I just can't help but overthink and worry and wonder if something I saw freaks him out, or if I did something to upset him when we talk during the day, or if I'm too much, or maybe I come off too strong cause I've been told I tend to do that. He always reassures me that I'm not too much and that everything's ok, but I'm worried he's lying and I'm slowly wearing him down and that I might scare him off soon.

I'm worried about this for 2 reasons. 1, I have a terrible fear of abandonment, and 2, he's the best thing I've ever had and I'd be devastated if I lost him. Am I crazy for worrying too much? Is this normal?

[TH4T0N3TR4N5F3M]

I think you need therapy dude. Like. Seriously.

[Nonbinary_wolf]

@TH4T0N3TR4N5F3M I'm in therapy already. My next appointment is the 31st. So until then, I'm stuck with this.

[TH4T0N3TR4N5F3M]

sleeping pills? Like melatonin

[Nonbinary_wolf]

@TH4T0N3TR4N5F3M I've tried before, we ran out, my mom won't get more, and it fucked me up so bad that my brain wouldn't naturally produce melatonin for weeks after.

[TH4T0N3TR4N5F3M]

oof

[Innocent]

I have researched that this is the cause of insomnia! If your mom ran out of sleeping pills then please tell her that you have insomnia and having extreme problems without them, this is what helps me sleep 1 cover yourself in water that way you would feel cold, 2 bundle up in a blanket, 3 listen to music or rain noise, 4 sit up on your bed until you want to lay down, 5 remind yourself that everyone is here for you, Then dream of all of the happiest memories you ever had

[Shockrat]

@Nonbinary_wolf I understand where you're coming from and its normal to think like that. But the atmosphere surrounding you will end up changing (ask me how i know) and itll make him and youre friends worry. talk through it with someone (doesn't have to be in person) and try to get some sleep. genuinely, when i cant sleep i do high knees, jumping jacks, things like that. it'll weqr you out and might help. no promises tho. still, if you're really worried about him not liking something about you or what you're doing, first of all, dont. second of all, talk to him about it. i promise it'll make it a healthier relationship, although that moment might be awkward. good luck.
(if you want, dm me and ill help out more)

[andythespeedru]

@Nonbinary_wolf I'm not the best at trying to cheer people up or even making people looking for the bright side on things, hell I cant do it for my self

but your not alone, everyone here on DNS is here to help you, you made a post not long ago about how if you disappeared that only some people would now were gone, and you were sure that your BF WOULD notice you were gone, that means that's you talk everyday, even though I cant see the messages you've had I'm sure that he loves you, I'm sure the post I made "why is it so hard to get in a relationship" has put doubt in your mind but trust me when I tell you, he's not pulling your strings, it may be in a rocky area but you can never be sure unless you ask him

There is no easy way out, you cant take melatonin to go to sleep because your brain will stop producing and it will be hard, It will be painful, but your no alone, so remember that when your ever feeling doubt