Roblox gift card
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Today I threatened a cashier at gun point to give me the $10 robux card sitting behind her counter. After a viscous shootout with the police, I returned to my house and set the card on my desk. I decided to take a shower to wash the gunpowder and blood off. After I’d bathed and listened to 30minutes of solid white noise to calm the voices in my head, I returned to my room to find the card missing. In the corner, my 8 year old brother was redeeming the card for himself before I could stop him he punched the last digit in and was awarded 800 robux to his account. In a fit of primal rage, I leapt the 25 feet between us and pounced on him, tearing him to shreds. His screams only fueled my rage. How dare he be surprised by my attack. I proceeded to rip the door off my truck and without turning the key and through pure willpower forced the vehicle to spontaneously appear in front of the main Roblox office. My molecules, refusing to coexist with any known law of physics, phased through the door. Again, through pure willpower, I molecularly reconstructed the front desk lady into a pile of Duracell rechargeable AA batteries. The people getting into the elevator saw this and started pressing the close door button. I telekinetically forced the doors back open and got inside while they screamed and begged. Their screams annoyed me so I growled at a frequency that irradiated their ions to the point of deconstruction. Once to the top floor I kicked the door to the CEO’s office open and sat down across from him. I summoned a photo of his children at gun point and demanded that he deposit 800 robux into my account. He did so earnestly. As I got up, he roared “all of this for $10!?” I smirked and said “the mitochondria is the power house of the cell” and leaped out his window from 87 stories up, stretching my skin into a wing suit, flying the 1,300 miles back to my home. I settled into my chair and surely enough, there were 800 robux in my account. I bought a pair of cosmetic wings and a cool hat.
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Wtf
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Wtf
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tf-
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what the absolute fuck?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
