Update 2 (i kinda forgot to post on the day of): so i told him how i felt about like things he had said and kind of apologized for my behavior because i personally felt it wasnt valid.. then he asked if i was sure i wanted to talk to him again because he didnt want to force the relationship. long story short we had a conversation and neither of us wanted to lose eachother so now we’re good yay🥹 (this actually sounds so corny now that i type it out but wtv😞) this all happened 3 days ago and no issues have occured since then so maybe it was just a temporary thing. im ngl the break was freaking me out so im glad we fixed things. 10 months not wasted!! 🎉
ok i think thats about it bye bye

Update: I talked to some people and explained it better, mentioning the other times little things he's said set me off and they said I was completely valid for getting mad at those things. I personally don't feel like it was right but my friends were saying I should talk to him because if I didn't it would harm our relationship. rn I'm typing out a paragraph to send to him explaining my thoughts better.
Ik my first post already explained it but the image is how I explained it to my friends

@Ventrell sorry, I'm pretty sure the phrase was like "build a person to trust" .. it was like 2 in the morning and I couldnt think straight so my first thought was to ask him what it meant

recently ive been getting irritated by everything he says. like 2 days ago we were having a great conversation and he said a phrase i didnt know the meaning of, so i ask what it meant and he says he wants me to find out on my own. i didnt talk to him for most of the next day. tonight i tried to grow up and get over it because i love him and i try to start a conversation, but i cant help but feel tired from talking to him. this goes on for a bit, by now i feel sorta sick because ik im being horrible to him but i dont have it in me to apologize, and i expected him to apologize for something, literally anything so i could get over it. instead i finally admit he's why im mad, and apparently he already knew and its always him. i try to explain what im feeling, then he says he loves me but he doesnt know how to help (i said i just felt empty) and that he's lost himself too. but he's always like that so its nothing new. it was a short conversation because he said we need a break. i was thinking the same thing for days but he beat me to it. i said ok. now im crying because i feel terrible and all of a sudden i remember all the good things about us. he never texted me back when i agreed to the break which made it even worse. idk why im like this i just keep hurting him and i dont want to. i love him but im too scared to break the hour of no contact (very pathetic, i know.)

i feel like im in the wrong idk this kinda sucks.

ok im lying its been a year and one day.. i mightve lied about the person being my bf, but on the bright side we've officially been together for 10 months though! he went back to new york this summer tho :(
(btw my old account is @s4iillyyy22 if you were curious.. probs not but its ok. i just wanted to check this out again especially since its been a while.)