Stray kids
Ateez
(Enhypen, TXT, New jeans, (G)-Idle)
Lana del Rey

@c4m0nmyfavee <333

@c4m0nmyfavee Ty prince, I love you infinity.

!TW! This contains mentions of sewer slide, $h, and €d if you read through please keep in mind that it could be triggering.
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I'm starting to get to the point of just being tired and bored of literally everything. I recently relapsed in sh and my ed. Like it's getting bad again and my meds are really starting to fuck with me I feel like sometimes I start to get overly agitated with some people especially the ones I love the most I don't mean to it's just that I literally like I don't think it's episodes? I haven't had something like a full on episode happen since I was around 12-13yrs old. So it's really fucking with me and I feel like it's also highly affecting my relationships. Like I know that there is something terribly wrong with me but at the same time I just don't wanna believe it. My hallucinations have started to come back to, like when I was in the hospital we decided to put it as lack of sleep. But after I got taken off my meds to help with them, they started slowly coming back and it's really fucking with my head. Also I don't actually think I'm gonna go through with it. But I already like have this whole suicide shit planned, like everything written down. I've reached over my 13th reason if you want to put it that way, with how many times I've tried. How many times I have failed and was sent to a mental hospital to get "better" it's honestly painful. I actually really wish my last attempt worked it almost did. If I had just taken a few more pills. I would have been dead. I really wish I could be dead right now, I hate everything and everyone at this point. I don't want to but it's sorta like my mind is putting it so everyone is against me. I realize it, but I don't want to fight my mind because I'll just end up loosing. I fucking hate everything about myself too, and going back to relapsing in my ed, I have b.e.d, mia and ana so ednos. Mia and b.e.d are my worst and mia really is fucking me up. Like, I don't want to end up how I was before but at the same time I'm just letting myself fall back into its not like it don't know how it's the fact that I have this like sense of wanting to get worse thats overpowering the sense to get better. With sh I use it as like a source of punishment for myself I guess, like if I binge and I don't purge it I cut myself to punish myself and if I don't workout for a certain amount of days when I finally work out I have to workout until I reach a certain calorie release or until I physically cannot stand up like I'm legitimately going to pass out. At this point I'm literally just gonna say fuck it and fall back into my old habits. But at the same time I don't because I'll just end up pushing everyone away and ghosting people like I did before. But at this point it's not like I care about my mental health. So whatever damage is done, I'm sorry to those I might hurt.

@slitmythroat4mar No cuz the way ecstacy was so fucking good and then it turned into a fucking "Sticking out your gyatt 4 the rizzler" like stfu.

Slayed and ate left no crumbs ong