Stray kids
Ateez
(Enhypen, TXT, New jeans, (G)-Idle)
Lana del Rey

@c4m0nmyfavee <333

@c4m0nmyfavee Ty prince, I love you infinity.

!TW! This contains mentions of sewer slide, $h, and €d if you read through please keep in mind that it could be triggering.
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I'm starting to get to the point of just being tired and bored of literally everything. I recently relapsed in sh and my ed. Like it's getting bad again and my meds are really starting to [censored] with me I feel like sometimes I start to get overly agitated with some people especially the ones I love the most I don't mean to it's just that I literally like I don't think it's episodes? I haven't had something like a full on episode happen since I was around 12-13yrs old. So it's really [censored] with me and I feel like it's also highly affecting my relationships. Like I know that there is something terribly wrong with me but at the same time I just don't wanna believe it. My hallucinations have started to come back to, like when I was in the hospital we decided to put it as lack of sleep. But after I got taken off my meds to help with them, they started slowly coming back and it's really [censored] with my head. Also I don't actually think I'm gonna go through with it. But I already like have this whole [censored] shit planned, like everything written down. I've reached over my 13th reason if you want to put it that way, with how many times I've tried. How many times I have failed and was sent to a mental hospital to get "better" it's honestly painful. I actually really wish my last attempt worked it almost did. If I had just taken a few more pills. I would have been dead. I really wish I could be dead right now, I hate everything and everyone at this point. I don't want to but it's sorta like my mind is putting it so everyone is against me. I realize it, but I don't want to fight my mind because I'll just end up loosing. I [censored] hate everything about myself too, and going back to relapsing in my ed, I have b.e.d, mia and ana so ednos. Mia and b.e.d are my worst and mia really is [censored] me up. Like, I don't want to end up how I was before but at the same time I'm just letting myself fall back into its not like it don't know how it's the fact that I have this like sense of wanting to get worse thats overpowering the sense to get better. With sh I use it as like a source of punishment for myself I guess, like if I binge and I don't purge it I cut myself to punish myself and if I don't workout for a certain amount of days when I finally work out I have to workout until I reach a certain calorie release or until I physically cannot stand up like I'm legitimately going to pass out. At this point I'm literally just gonna say [censored] it and fall back into my old habits. But at the same time I don't because I'll just end up pushing everyone away and ghosting people like I did before. But at this point it's not like I care about my mental health. So whatever damage is done, I'm sorry to those I might hurt.

@slitmythroat4mar No cuz the way ecstacy was so [censored] good and then it turned into a [censored] "Sticking out your gyatt 4 the rizzler" like stfu.

Slayed and ate left no crumbs ong