Living as something you aren't can truely suck. Especially when you feel trapped, unsupported, and as if you are "wrong". People have their beliefs, your family has theirs and you have yours. It's unfair that they might never understand what your beliefs truely mean to you, in your case; being transgender, but you have community! People just like you, who can and will accept you for you.
I've been in the same situation, beating myself up over ungratefulness, feeling like I should be more thankful for what I have. Of course, people are going through worse, but that doesn't make your worries just .. invalid. They can love what they see in you, but that might not be who you are. It's your right to be upset about that. Although, being a kid, respect is hard to earn from parents who don't see you. Life sucks, but it's also forever changing.
I hope life treats you well, and even if it doesn't, well, you have others who can hate it with you <33
