Some sort of vent/rant [TW: venting abt being neurodivergent]

[french_fry_guy]

I hate being neurodivergent so much. I hate that I have to think a certain way or can’t tell when things will make a situation worse and I hate that I can’t just live with the fact that my very way of thinking or processing the world around me makes people uncomfortable. It’s so stupid because it’s not my fault. I can’t help that I can’t see anything else outside an analytical perspective. It’s no one’s fault and I want to blame someone. I hate that I have to run my hands in cool water when I get upset or when I get upset I shake my hands. I hate that I can’t have my headphones and I hate that I can hear frequencies from outlets or go on a 30 minute tangent about something NOBODY cares about. This isn’t a [censored] “super power,” it’s not [censored] “cute,” and shouldn’t be seen as “trendy.” I’m so over this. I’m so over not being able to try new foods, listen to new music, listen to people sing or hum or whistle or chew without wanting to rip out my own hair and scream at the top of my lungs. I hate that my skin gets all itchy and feels like a prison when I’m anxious or overstimulated. I hate that I love science or a stupid goddamn Spanish learning website so much that it’s all I think about. I hate “reading” people because all it does is make me seem like a weirdo and make people uncomfortable, when all I’m trying to do is help them. I’m not trying to turn people into a problem so I can fix them, I can’t help people emotionally any other way. I hate this so much.

[french_fry_guy]

And most of all, I hate that because I can’t properly judge situations I get taken advantage of by people I thought I could trust.

[french_fry_guy]

And it’s so dumb because my own parents don’t care

[niconiconico]

This bro

[french_fry_guy]

@niconiconico I would up vote but i cant in EoTF sigggghhhh

[french_fry_guy]

But in all reality I can't stand when people fake neurodiverngency because its not cool nor fun. My disorder isnt something cute; it's a DISORDER.

[french_fry_guy]

It's like how because I'm trans people will think of me as "best of both worlds" when I am a human being and not some object (I've actually been told this btw)

[french_fry_guy]

This post is deleted!

[niconiconico]

@french_fry_guy oh my god literally this and when you arent their best of both worlds youre worthless or need to change yourself for them oh my god

[french_fry_guy]

@niconiconico or put aside boundaries or let people misgender you because if you don’t they’ll get mad. Or when, for example, I get overstimulated I usually get visibly worked up, and sometimes people just laugh at it.

[french_fry_guy]

I’m just tired of not being able to think “normally” I guess. I hate that I can understand things no one else can but when it comes to something most people can do I just freeze up
(Sorry for the long a// vent, I just kind of needed to talk abt this)

[Nared]

Hey. I have some of these same problems, the overstimulation, hearing frequencies that are low in volume. And needing to do something to calm down. I get it a little bit, its not your fault at all. Its just how god created you.

[niconiconico]

@french_fry_guy dude LITERALLY this im so glad you get it bro

[thatguy]

You have prob heard this before or it might be useless for you but when I'm feeling like that I kinda just remove myself if I can (by going to the toilet if I'm in class ect) and taking my headphones with me (this isn't allowed but who is gonna stop me) then I stand in a cubicle and listen to music for a few mins to calm myself down. When I'm at home I tend to play geetar or play a game ect but yk this might not be very useful for you cos everyone's different. I have the tisms too btw.

[french_fry_guy]

@niconiconico I feel like it’s (sadly) the trans guy experience

[french_fry_guy]

@thatguy I do that too. Except when I’m at home I hide in the bathrooms too because not only is it familiar but it’s really the only spot in the house I can get privacy