cask of monster
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i find an obnoxious ''thing'' underserving of a name at a festival filled beautiful rainbows of every color and vairation. i ask him ''my good sir wearing ears and a short skirt, pink in color, with a color wrapped around your delicate throat, with a small tag reading ':' three, why, don't you like monster?'' ''yes, i do. man dapper and hansom, i implore you speak of this delight more'' he said to me, i hate his filthy thigh highed striped stockings. ''how about you come to my abode, i have a fine asortment of this, ''monster'' you desire. by harry i have the limited edition fruitish fruit flavor!'' i told him aloringly, trying my best to use my charisma to make him come to me, like a moth to a flame. '' why yes! take me to it!'' the obnoxious hog squeeked. he might have ears of cat, but he is nothing more than a vile pig. so i hold his filthy mitts and lead him to my abode whispering sweet secrets for us to share. i open the valt and our decent into the dark began. ''where is the delectable caffinated sweet you promese me?'' he asks getting visiblly nervous, '' ah, i keep it deap down in a cooler to keep it chrisp, i age it like cheese.'' i reply. ''here's some original, its is a classic, isnt it?'' i say ''yes, i agree, i see now, we're playing a game arent we?'' the idiot followed me into the dark corner ''my basement is unfinished unfortunately.'' i tell him. ''its dark, but i have a fashionable choker for you to wear.'' i tell him as i put it on him, he is blabbering on about monster and womans clothing. when i am done, i snap '' you bloody moron! welcome to my basement!'' i begin to place the brick and morder as he realizes the hell he is in and he screems bloody murder, its murder, but certainly not bloody.
he'll die chaned to my wall, starving and alone. i despise you that much. -
deadass the best i could do in twenty minutes gang
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yes, this is infact a parody of a dark comedy short story by edgar allan poe, the story this is based from is cask of almenlotto
