am I the only one who's noticed this?

Yanderemenhera

i've noticed a lot of people have become very volitile and will call and accuse you of being anything under the sun for seemingly small things, like if I told a woman I shave my legs they might call me a mysogenist for it or i'm looking for male attention. I think people have become a lot more aggressive with these terms and use them a lot more freely, I don't hate women, I shave my legs for my own personal comfort, I don't like how leg hair and fishnets feel for example.

like, I also feel like it can make these words feel like their meanings are more mild, like they downplay the meaning quite a bit and it feels less serious.

I think people also forget that acting like this can make them seem uh, how do I put this? not right in the head, like if a woman was screaming at me calling me a mysoginistic pick-me for shaving my body hair I would assume they are very mentally ill and possibly psychotic to some degree or something else like that.

and also, screaming at people (literally, like irl or online in words, doesn't matter)

will make them NOT want to listen to you.

not only might they think you are batshit insane, they will likely also feel attacked. if someone was telling you that you were a horrible person, you will likely feel personally attacked and you won't want to listen to what they have to say.

i've had a homophobic experience selling jewelry, there was an older woman at the event making rude comments to people with rainbows and things like that. I had pride flag jewelry and the woman couldn't tell whether I was male or female which upset her too, she wanted to call me uh not safe browsedns words but she couldn't tell what word to use and her granddaughter was with her. I had to give her a free bracelet to get her to leave me alone. i'd say she was legitimately homophobic, the event was an event for everyone, and not just for straight people so i don't fucking know what the woman was expecting.

now, some gay guy preferring to wear a rainbow flag instead of the blue white and green gay man's flag I doubt is actually homophobic. if the guy likes that flag more because of the color or he feels more represented by said flag, I don't see why people should dogpile on him for not using the "correct" flag.

I feel like getting aggressive and telling the gay guy to "use the right flag" and calling him homophobic is just rude and not a proper use of the word and makes it seem less serious. the woman I mentioned would fit the word homophobic well.

sometimes you can have a good point, but go about it all wrong. like let's say your parent(s) are honestly wanting to know about and support you through something but they mess up, like they say something without realizing it's offensive, you should explain why the thing is offensive/wrong and not get aggressive and push them away from understanding you.

obviously, sometimes people are assholes and being nice won't get through to them but I doubt being rude will ether, I feel like stooping down to their level and arguing with them is touching the poo and might feel good in the moment, but is a waste of time and can get you in trouble.

I think people are hella divided online and people are becoming even more extreme in their opinions/beliefs to the point it feels like a race to the bottom, regardless of age, government opinions, gender ect. I see this behavior with every single group of people imaginable basically, irl and online.

in conclusion,

don't become like that. touch grass, steap outside echo chambers, talk to people online or in person, and don't use words like transphobe, mysogenist, ect. for every little thing and try to explain your point of view instead of screaming and seeming like you are in need of a shrink.

Yanderemenhera

I think the LGBT's policing other LGBT's is insane to me in particular because like, why are you policing their identity or how they choose to present themselves if you likely get that treatment yourself?

like you might say you identify as a transfem and somehow you got someone telling you that you should use a different flag instead of like, the traditional trans flag in your bio and because you're not using the trans fem flag you are now a transphobe and must be blacklisted from every LGBT space.

like bro... when I see stuff like that all I can think of is the spider man meme of him pointing to his clone.

imo, it's up to the individual to decide what represents them, and it doesn't matter what flag or term they use. you arguing with a pan person as an Omni person over what's the "approperate" term is stupid, the pan person should be allowed to be pan and you should be allowed to be Omni. you do not need to try to call the other person homophobic for not using the "right" label and you yourself can't see into their head so how do you know what they are and aren't?

_Izzy_

@Yanderemenhera also the labels genuinely dont mean sh1t anyways and dont change the fact that your gay so arguing over it is just a waste of time TvT

i feel like tye gay community is way too like, arrogant, bc i see ppl throw the words homophobe and transphobe over the littlest thing which

just bc someone has different views then u doesnt matter, racism, misogyny, and homophobia require action/active discrimination. alot of ppl who think gay ppl are weird dont actually bother them at all, atleast where i live, and ppl are pretty chill as long as u dont act cringe, and even the hella attention seeking corny kids are kinda just avoided or side eyed, and even then, its not bc your gay, its not bc your trans, its bc your cringe af

(this is for where i live in western MA, ive actually met trans ppl who were actually popular bc they were just chill ppl who just so happened to have been born a dif biologcal s3x then how they look now. ofc there ARE ppl who will hate u just bc your non cishet.)

accusing ppl of being bad ppl.... lowkey makes them ACTUALLY wana do smth bad TvT

by accusing ppl and tryna argue with them, your actively making them dislike your community more and giving them a excuse to not like you, and harrasing someone who doesn't want to hurt community while there are ppl who actually DO wana hurt yall

i feel like the first part applies to racism especially well, ALOT of ppl are VERY ignorant to other ppls experiences and cultural history, and willfully so, which often leads to them having [censored] ideals, assumptions, subconscious bias and ect., but i try to think of these ppl as what they are: uneducated and ignorant. its annoying, but unless your going out of your way to GENUINELY hurt POC because they are POC, i wouldn't genuinely consider u to be [censored] (esspecially with the n word, ill judge u and think ur ignorant for saying it but the word itself dont make u [censored], its the intention behind it)

ultimately, the best way to fight prejudice isnt by tryna cancel every person who offends you, its by using and spreading education and being the representation you want to see.

Yanderemenhera

@_Izzy_

TH4TTR4N5F3M_VA

Holy walls of text

Yanderemenhera

@TH4TTR4N5F3M_VA I mean, it's a forum, walls of text aren't out of the ordenary

TH4TTR4N5F3M_VA

@Yanderemenhera ig bro

thatguy

Dude I lowk agree with all this. I have been called horrible things for just having a wristband with the bisexual flag on it. Same with the rainbow flag. It's horrible.

Yanderemenhera

@thatguy God that's terrible. idk what to say :c

I really hope it gets better. my only thought is maybe try wearing more obscure symbols but I'm surprised they knew what the bi flag was, most people where I live only regconginze the rainbow and maaaaaaaaaaaaaabyyyye the trans flag.

UnpaidIntern

I don't like it when people confuse labels for groups. When people pretend that a trait/label that can apply to anyone in different ways is like a entire group of people that should be associated with eachother. Like the worst example of this is fandom culture. Whenever I hear someone say "x fandom" I cringe so hard because it's just entirely random people that happen to like x that should not be grouped together. Like how people say the tadc fandom is bad when it's just the random trashy people gooseworx interacts with on twitter. It literally causes most of the world's problems.

Yanderemenhera

@UnpaidIntern I honestly don't lump everyone in a fandom together because I feel like most people are normal about it and are not weirdos, I think the biggest example is MLP tbh. I don't think every MLP fan over the age of 10 is a weirdo, I think most teen and adult MLP fans i've seen were normal and not some degenerate and they had a valid reason to like it.

while yes, there's definitely gross MLP fans, %1000000 I just kinda wanna know the person before giving them the label of creep, ya know?

thatguy

@Yanderemenhera oh i have been called a few funny gay slurs. I dont mind it too much i lowk just start laughing at them.

ladiesman217

@Yanderemenhera got banned from a trans server (for having it/its pronouns)
even @thatguy was accepted into it, hes cis trans server??
got banned from another server for the reason "away with you [f slur ]"

ladiesman217

@thatguy said in am I the only one who's noticed this?:

few funny gay slurs

i fear it isnt funny when its genuinely just homophobia

thatguy

@ladiesman217 I thought it was funny cos it was a very poor attempt at being homophobic

ladiesman217

@thatguy i guess so. homophobia typically aint haha funny though

thatguy

@ladiesman217 said in am I the only one who's noticed this?:

@thatguy i guess so. homophobia typically aint haha funny though

yeah i spose

TH4TTR4N5F3M_VA

my new school gatekeeps the gn bathrooms under a [censored] key

Yanderemenhera

@TH4TTR4N5F3M_VA holly shit why?????? it's usually the gn's that are the best behavived, no?

(assuming gn means gender nonconforming)

TH4TTR4N5F3M_VA

@Yanderemenhera yep