so apparently my entire existence is a series of tactical errors that only make sense if you pretend i am some kind of tragic video game villain. yesterday i spent forty-five minutes trying to convince a vending machine to give me a free soda. did it work? obviously not. did i learn anything? nope. but here’s the kicker: the satisfaction of failing in style is somehow… intoxicating. like, i don’t even know what victory means anymore because my bar for success has been permanently lowered by years of personal chaos. anyway if anyone wants tips on how to be spectacularly bad at literally everything while still looking like a genius online, i’m available. slide into my notifications or don’t. consequences: minimal. laughter: mandatory.

@KiwiFarmsArkavel uh. okay?..

@KiwiFarmsArkavel well. Idk how to feel because you never even asked if you could rant in my dms but. thanks…. I suppose

@d3rlord3 YAAAY

@d3rlord3 :((( yu r the best ever i seriously would not trade you for the world im glad weve stayed so close for rhis long

Lately i have been exhausted more than id like to say and ive been putting up with so much and my ability to become more irritated has been through the roof, i really feel bad for anyone who has ever put up with me and my mental and mood swings. Everyone wants to be friends with me and love me and hang out with avery until my depressions gets worse, i start acting impulsively, i cant remember stuff i did, im more rude, im more mean, until avery starts trying to attempt every second he gets until i have literally lost my mind and somehow spiraled into a episode or something worse.

School has been tiring, rushing two projects, taking test, i have finals too. I really just want to erode away like a rock in a river, but if the erosion was much faster. I feel so tired, ive been very sluggish recently. Maybe i shouldve been a slug in this life, i wonder if slugs feel as much distress and anxiety and depression or anything like that humans do. Sometimes i wish i never had to be like this.

I believe i have finals monday or whatever, some point then, i just hope i pass and can work on myself for the better. I want to have peace again.

Today i wanted to eat at lunch, now, let me allow you to know that i am VERY lactose intolerant, i cannot have cheese apparently in any amounts because it causes my stomach to twist itself in knots and die.

The options for lunch was cheesy bread, chicken, macaroni and cheese, potatoes, and ofc bananas and im assuming oranges. Remember how i said im lactose? I was going to pick out the food i wanted and the lunch lady just SLAPS DOWN A FULL SCOOP OF MACARONI ONTO MY TRAY? DUDE.
WHAT IF I WAS ALLERGIC TO DAIRY? WHAT IF DAIRY WAS FATAL TO ME? You can’t just SLAP food of YOUR CHOICE onto a students tray, thats up to them to pick.. and my main bother is why is there so much CHEESE today? I had no idea the filling of the bread was cheese and i ate two pieces of it because it tasted kind of sweet.. big mistake i guess.

@Sup3rSwaggyy1983 JAJAJS ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS.. im thinking about it but i also feel reallly close to him even though weve only dated for 2-3ish months.. and ive known him for a short while.. eeeyuck. I might truly.

@redapplecups TYY and yeaahh.. poly relationships can get so tiring.. they make you think ur loved under the guise of “i love you equally” then shove their head up the oppossing partners [censored].

@st4tic yes please! Also how do i use each category?

I actually hate my boyfriend SO much. Well, kind of.. its just weve been in a poly relationship since October and i guess its not getting any better because he only defends his other bf. Its just so tiring, ive tried to talk to him and explain my side and understand him better but he just wont listen so i have given up brah. He literally said that he is dont and wont reply to me anymore because hes gonna get pissed and gonna go to bed?? Like dude you only read what you WANTED within my text, u IGNORED EVERRYTHING else. And they blame ME because me and his other bfs friendship failed. SON. BOI. No. Ur not gonna drag my awesome name through the mud just cuz ur up ur bfs [censored]. :///

I said hey! i get it and i wont pressure you and ill give you space and ill always be here! Little does he know i will not be texting him for the next maybe.. week.. month.. hmm SORRY BROCHACHO! Be a better bf! AVERY THE MAYOEST OUT!