Calamity Before the storm. (RANT + INSANELY SENSITIVE TOPICS WARNING!!)

CH3SI

You can complain.
You can whine.
You can treat me like Shit when I try to Cry.
You may look like a woman.
You may smell like daffodils and lilacs and whatever "Beautiful" women smell like.
You could've tried to help.
You Should've helped.
Should and Could Aren't Actions, Are they?
YOU weren't a woman in his eyes when he hit you.
Just like how I'M not a man when he throws me.
You're not Beautiful.
I'm not Handsome.
Two perspectives.
Both believe they are correct.
Two Religions.
One accepted and Embraced.
The Other Treated as if It was the reason Children get Assaulted.
You had said She loved me. Had said it was okay to like women.
But What you didn't say was that I needed to leave.
Needed to leave before i got Sexually Assaulted.
The Warning signs were there.
That girl had put out cigarettes on my arms.
That Girl was Twenty-three.
I was Fourteen.
You're not a mother.
Just like He's not a father.
You called me slurs when I broke up with her.
"She had a Nice family!"
"She was the best thing you could've ever HAD, Pollen!"
But she wasn't the best thing I had when I woke up with ~~Burns on my Chest and Blood between my legs.~~
But she was the best thing to you.
But HE isn't the best thing You've ever had, Mom.
You've said the bible was the thing to follow.
But you got married while pregnant.
Wouldn't that be AGAINST the bible?
You complain about me spilling things from how shaky i am.
The shakiness I got from years of abuse.
You complain about So much, And I complain about so little.
I don't complain about how I can't stretch.
I don't complain about Being Sexually Assaulted.
I don't complain about how it hurts to breathe.
You would.
I'm more fit to raise a child than you ever will be.
You let a Two year old have a mirror collapse on her.
That two year old survived.
That two year old is going to be Seventeen this year.
You let a three year old get dunked in a boiling tub.
That Three year old Survived.
That Three year old is gonna be Seventeen this year.
Those children are me.
A Child Who's tried his hardest.
I wasn't being watched.
You were drunk.
You'll never be a Beautiful Mother.
I'll never be a Handsome father.
I'm breaking down.
Everything is coming to light.
you're turning into him
I can't stop that Change.
But I can Delay it.
I can delay a young mind from following the Leaders.
You Cannot.
The scale will always choose you.
Hate will always Choose me.

Dear reader, This may never make sense to you.
But if It does, Thank you.
If it doesn't?
I'll explain.
My mother is turning into a horrible person.
Like my Father.
I don't want my sibling to follow that path.
I don't want my Little sister to not care about SA, Child Abandonment, Hate Crimes, Abuse, Pedophila, Sexual Assault, SH, Or Human Trafficking.
And if that means I have to Help her care, I will.
Because our parents aren't trying to do that.
Because I am a victim, No matter what way you try to put it.
My mom is one too. But She glorifies it.
"He Still loves me!"
He does not.
I'm never gonna Glorify horrific things like that.
I hope my sister won't Either.
And before somone says "CALL CPS!!"
I Can't.
Just like I couldn't do it on my other rants.
I have to think of two people If I call CPS.
When She turns fourteen, I'll go to court to try and get custody of my little Sister.
So SHE'LL have the choice to come with me.
Because I know the moment I Leave, She'll get abused too.
I don't want my little Sister to deal with that.
I never would want that.
So I'll wait to save her.
Or Die trying to do just that.
-Sillyz.

? Offline

oh my god....i know i haven't been thru what ur going thru rn, but even I know this is messed up...

Nonbinary_wolf

@CH3SI I don't know exactly what you're going through, but you're almost out. Keep going strong and I hope you can save ur sister when she's older. Good luck CH3SI, I'll be praying for you and your sister's survival.