preferred name's explained simply

[Yanderemenhera]

a preferred name is quite common, it's a name that's not like, your legal/birth name that you use, I know it can be quite confusing but I will write a few different examples so it makes more sense:

1.

so let's say there's someone named Joshua, they don't like how formal that is and it feels weird when they are called that and it's something they find uncomfortable. so they would like to be called josh instead, Joshua is their legal name, it's what's on their birth certificate but they would ask you to just call them josh and you do because you wanna be respectful and not make them uncomfortable and they apretate you use their preferred name.

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2.

samatha has now asked his mom to call him Sam after coming out as a trans man and explaining that he's not her daughter, but her son. and that name feels better than his old name and it's kinda like the name he used to have because he doesn't wanna fully give up the old name but he feels like it's more "him" than his old name. his mom doesn't understand why at first, it's so simmaler to the name she originally gave him but she does use the name he requested, even if it's not the same one that's on his driver's license that's his name and after a bit of talking she gets it and supports her son thought the process of transition.

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3.

a couple get married but things sour between them, Amanda has the legal last name of brown and she can't change it right now and the devorce is still finalizing but she asked you to please call her Ms. Rodriguez when you get into class and she explains she is devorcing and she doesn't want to be associated with her ex husband. you and your classmates agree and you call her the name you asked.

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I listed a few exaples of preferred names and I hope that can help explain why someone might want to be called something other than what their birth certificate says, slip-ups happen, and if it's not intentional and you call someone something else than what they asked they'll usually forgive you, but intentionally doing things like always using their dead-name can be very hurtful and it's generally a pretty rude thing to do. imagine if let's say someone called you the wrong name, maybe they accedentally said "John" when your name is actually Amy but they will not stop calling you John. your name is a very personal thing, it's like the number one thing to remember about yourself. this post isn't meant to shame anyone that didn't know what a preferred name was, if you didn't know and you do now that's great^^ I also think this post could be a good thing to show like, a parent or something to help explain the concept of it, also there's a lot of different reasons someone might want to use a different name I didn't mention here and that's because there's well, a lot of reasons why, i've just picked the most common one's i've seen irl.

one more thing, if someone replies to this post explaining they didn't know what a preferred name was until this and they aren't being rude, don't be rude to them. should be obvious but sometimes people will shame others online for not knowing things like this or say they are [insert type of bigotry] when they honestly have no beef and just didn't know. please keep the replies respectful^^^ tysm

[Yanderemenhera]

I put in the discalmer because on some platforms people will be like "so you didn't know what bi-gender was? you're a f*cking bigoted transphobe" and the person is some open-mined sweet old lady that was just asking a question

[vessel]

my birth name is oliver.. i cannot relate... trust me guys........

/srs though i need to show this to my mother she keeps calling me my deadname
(my birth name SUCKED and she still things im a transman help)
granted im not 'out' yet but she literally talks to noone important

[Lil_silly]

FR I hate it when my parents call me by my dead name and when my school accidentally kept telling my parents I wanted to go by Echo, and my mom yelled at me on the way home. But then apologized by giving me a hello kitty t-shirt that was Halloween themed. I still don’t forgive her fully but eh

[Yanderemenhera]

my name is hard to pronounce and it isn't like, uh.. how do I put this.. like a "normal" or "common" name and i've had text to speech software say curse words trying to figure out how to say it (i'm not leaking my real name since I personally don't want my name or face online until next year, since I'll be 18 and I just personally don't want those things online until i'm legally an adult) i'm also pretty androgenous which doesn't help so I have considered like, a preferred name to help people out since them not using my "real" name doesn't bother me and i'd rather a stranger call me something else than struggle to spell or say my name while we are interacting, or if I were to place an order a "preferred" name would be helpful so they can more easily like, spell, and say my name without any sort of struggle when I just want whatever I ordered and they likely just want their money

[kawaiikaylax]

I go by Kayla, Natalie has alot of trauma behind it and makes me uncomfortable, i not the type of person to be like "THAS NOT MY NAME I HATE YOU" if they dont call me kayla though.

[Nonbinary_wolf]

I prefer to go by Ash or Ari because they're more gender neutral names and my actual name is really feminine. I haven't really came out irl tho.

[freedom fries]

I go by Chris rather than Christian because I'm against all religion.

[seal]

@freedom-fries LMAO