Some sort of vent/rant [TW: venting abt being neurodivergent]

[french_fry_guy]

I hate being neurodivergent so much. I hate that I have to think a certain way or can’t tell when things will make a situation worse and I hate that I can’t just live with the fact that my very way of thinking or processing the world around me makes people uncomfortable. It’s so stupid because it’s not my fault. I can’t help that I can’t see anything else outside an analytical perspective. It’s no one’s fault and I want to blame someone. I hate that I have to run my hands in cool water when I get upset or when I get upset I shake my hands. I hate that I can’t have my headphones and I hate that I can hear frequencies from outlets or go on a 30 minute tangent about something NOBODY cares about. This isn’t a [censored] “super power,” it’s not [censored] “cute,” and shouldn’t be seen as “trendy.” I’m so over this. I’m so over not being able to try new foods, listen to new music, listen to people sing or hum or whistle or chew without wanting to rip out my own hair and scream at the top of my lungs. I hate that my skin gets all itchy and feels like a prison when I’m anxious or overstimulated. I hate that I love science or a stupid goddamn Spanish learning website so much that it’s all I think about. I hate “reading” people because all it does is make me seem like a weirdo and make people uncomfortable, when all I’m trying to do is help them. I hate this so much. I am a prisoner of my skin and mind and I would do anything to stop this.

[french_fry_guy]

And most of all, I hate that because I can’t properly judge situations I get taken advantage of by people I thought I could trust.

[french_fry_guy]

And it’s so dumb because my own parents don’t care

[niconiconico]

This bro