I need to seriously admit some things.

SumRandomLoser

@st4tic Whatever, not like there's time for that before the Martian colonization either. Anyhow, have I mentioned the fact I kidnapped ten Fortnite players last night? As a symbol of my good faith in them, I also let them try a taste of my delicable snake meat and parsley for dinner! They enjoyed it so much, they've been in a deep sleep since yesterday. They're so lazy! Don't they know it's time to wake up already? they're probably dreaming of a ranked battle royale to be THAT Sleepy.

UnpaidIntern

my rhymes are fire,
please hire

SumRandomLoser

@UnpaidIntern ouuuu hires you

st4tic

why hire someone over the rhymes you made yourself during the time you admitted to such actions, loser?

SumRandomLoser

H...Hire...? Oh NO, silly billy! I meant FIRE! Like the thing that's going to spread through their workplace in a few hours. I made the rhymes myself and they describe exactly what I'll do after I finish forcing the people in my basement to continue playing... Oh, wait, no. I forgot I already disposed of them in the nearest dumpster! What fools they were, never waking up again after my delicious meal...

Who knew making a sauce out of milk and twenty crushed expired Benadryls over the snake meat would make them react that way...? I thought it was quite the common recipe! I eat it every weekend and it's never gone wrong for me! ...But when I eat it all by myself, though, I usually put in only two Benadryls... But whatever! I only multiplied the amount by 10, since that was the number of guests!

...Oh, but how could I possibly forget it was supposed to be twenty Benadryls in total, and not in each guest's meal? Oopsies! I guess that's why they didn't get up again...

st4tic

(literally going through EVERY message and seeing what's editable </3)

the loser situation is crazyyyy. i didn't know you ate random plants off the street and made concoctions with them. or that you pissed on the bathroom walls. or that you kept your cat in a box for three months. what next, are you going to steal an entire store aisle consisting of canned food?

SumRandomLoser

I might do that- oh, wait, I already did rob an entire Walmart last week! They were forced to close the store, and then I blackmailed the manager to avoid reporting me to the police! Who says a little bait doesn't save lives?

SumRandomLoser

thousth Night forth Player shall Take an entire Food Aisle.

st4tic

clipped and being deep fried in the future

SumRandomLoser

You know what? Fine. I'll let you out of the basement. But first, I need you to give our little pet dog a refreshing dose of Pepsi with hot sauce! He's been looking a little down lately after I switched his diet of gummy bears and Sprite for chicken and rice... Was it... Because I forgot the chicken outside the freezer for a month? Aww, but it was only out for such little time! I bet he just thought the taste and smell were strong and ended up passing out because it had such a divine flavor!

st4tic

do you not realize how much the accusations against you are piling up?

SumRandomLoser

Don't bring back that stupid face until I'm done using an illegal shock weapon on my neighbor's objects! Or... do! I don't care, but if you decide to do something else, please be sure to cover the attic windows with wooden bars. I don't want my special guests to see the sun for the rest of their lives, anyways! What do they think they are, roommates?

st4tic

but... are you sure you think it was a good idea to do anything you admitted to doing??

SumRandomLoser

I don't regret anything I sayed, idiot! Wait... Is it "sayed" or "said"? Whatever. If you continue trying to talk me out of electrocuting my neighbor's childhood teddy bear, then you don't stand a single chance! Actually... Is it normal for something to be fuming and burning when you've been doing that for too long...?

UnpaidIntern

nvm i just un-crossposted it

UnpaidIntern

someone please delete the duplicates, the switch lags during during the edit and accidentally duplicates the post, it's also super slow with deleting everything one character at a time + lag while deleting it