Update
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1
Turned out they put in my beloved English major again, but all my work on my first year of college was for nothing im starting over in a new college. In my first I was doing so well I got 1000sar at the end of year as a reward for my grades (enough for like a tiny apartment rent or 5 switch games) But in this new one my parents are paying for me to study because its a random ass online university. And I keep getting told that I should be thankful?? I DID NOT ask for this You chose to do that not me wth also for my first year I have math and a random subject and only one english class so fml. But the weird 'depersonalization or derealization'-like thing is happening more, I read about it and I dont think I have that, its an anxiety thing and I accepted that I dont have an academic future anymore so idgaf n i'm not anxious or anything but it keeps happening so I dont think its the right term and im dying to see a therapist about it cuz its driving me insane n it lasts for hours at a time . -
2
But its hard to get therapy,the last time I had two therapists at once a man and a woman yapping about how much im a hetero-woman who wants to get married and have kids basically conversion therapy,and I didnt even hate it I just wanted to talk to ppl cuz I was locked in an empty room with two bathroom and food breaks and one hunger games book for months at the time so anything was welcome. Yet my parents pulled me out when the therapist was telling them that they should let me continue my education next year n let me get an electric guitar to have a hobby which was outrageous to them lol -
I'm Sorry About The Situation Your In Tbh