my time here
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@cv7mp said in my time here:
@KiwiFarmsArkavel ill try to check it out when i can, also i apologize clinical therapy hasnt helped, id suggest maybe an alternative? healing through a way of peace, through friends or maybe finding inner self awareness of solace
I never had any type of therapy at all, and I rather not suffer being in a godforsaken room with hatred in myself being inside a room with a therapist.
For me, there is no peace, there's only endurance and survival with nothing but lies and imaginative delusions backing me up
Nothing on this earth is fun or enjoyable anymore and day after day there is going to be a new controversy that decimates the only remaining happiness on this planet.
@KiwiFarmsArkavel i can understand where you come from, i like to think of it as 'taking a gamble' yk? if people dont like me i let myself feel what i need to and then move on, because i know out there someone must like me, or at most trust me. And for me thats all I need, though you could be different. Try finding the one thing you want in people and look for it, like hope, even if its just a little bit that means theres a chance
𝑾̲̅𝒊̲̅𝒕̲̅𝒉̲̅ 𝒕̲̅𝒉̲̅𝒆̲̅ 𝒊̲̅𝒏̲̅𝒌̲̅ 𝑰̲̅ 𝒔̲̅𝒐̲̅𝒘̲̅, 𝑰̲̅ 𝒄̲̅𝒂̲̅𝒓̲̅𝒓̲̅𝒚̲̅ 𝒚̲̅𝒐̲̅𝒖̲̅𝒓̲̅ 𝒘̲̅𝒆̲̅𝒊̲̅𝒈̲̅𝒉̲̅𝒕̲̅.
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@KiwiFarmsArkavel i can understand where you come from, i like to think of it as 'taking a gamble' yk? if people dont like me i let myself feel what i need to and then move on, because i know out there someone must like me, or at most trust me. And for me thats all I need, though you could be different. Try finding the one thing you want in people and look for it, like hope, even if its just a little bit that means theres a chance
@cv7mp said in my time here:
@KiwiFarmsArkavel i can understand where you come from, i like to think of it as 'taking a gamble' yk? if people dont like me i let myself feel what i need to and then move on, because i know out there someone must like me, or at most trust me. And for me thats all I need, though you could be different. Try finding the one thing you want in people and look for it, like hope, even if its just a little bit that means theres a chance
ik ik. But it was confirmed at school that I'm the most hated individual in this school for just being autistic, 7th grade was possibly one of the worst year of my life when I wore a bunch of cool murder drones stuff and obv these fake wannabe gangsters just harass me time and time again to the point where one of them tooken my hat in the bus and played hot potato with it in his group, eventually when I got outside to go back home while it was raining. the same guy throwed my N Hat out the window and said "yo get yo lice filled ass hat outta here" and throwed it at the grass
W kiwi
Your local goober that looks at your window
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@cv7mp said in my time here:
@KiwiFarmsArkavel i can understand where you come from, i like to think of it as 'taking a gamble' yk? if people dont like me i let myself feel what i need to and then move on, because i know out there someone must like me, or at most trust me. And for me thats all I need, though you could be different. Try finding the one thing you want in people and look for it, like hope, even if its just a little bit that means theres a chance
ik ik. But it was confirmed at school that I'm the most hated individual in this school for just being autistic, 7th grade was possibly one of the worst year of my life when I wore a bunch of cool murder drones stuff and obv these fake wannabe gangsters just harass me time and time again to the point where one of them tooken my hat in the bus and played hot potato with it in his group, eventually when I got outside to go back home while it was raining. the same guy throwed my N Hat out the window and said "yo get yo lice filled ass hat outta here" and throwed it at the grass
@KiwiFarmsArkavel im so sorry they did that, no one deserves that man. I wouldnt take it to heart but I know it hurt. Like I said im here to listen if anything like that happens again
𝑾̲̅𝒊̲̅𝒕̲̅𝒉̲̅ 𝒕̲̅𝒉̲̅𝒆̲̅ 𝒊̲̅𝒏̲̅𝒌̲̅ 𝑰̲̅ 𝒔̲̅𝒐̲̅𝒘̲̅, 𝑰̲̅ 𝒄̲̅𝒂̲̅𝒓̲̅𝒓̲̅𝒚̲̅ 𝒚̲̅𝒐̲̅𝒖̲̅𝒓̲̅ 𝒘̲̅𝒆̲̅𝒊̲̅𝒈̲̅𝒉̲̅𝒕̲̅.
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every singular bad event on this timeline feels like a bullet going through my flesh, it just hurts every time. and that moment where I had to just slowly walk to my house in the wet rain wearing my hat and NOT tell my parents abt it at ALL just feels like the last remaining piece of sanity I had left had just been stabbed
W kiwi
Your local goober that looks at your window
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@KiwiFarmsArkavel im so sorry they did that, no one deserves that man. I wouldnt take it to heart but I know it hurt. Like I said im here to listen if anything like that happens again
@cv7mp said in my time here:
@KiwiFarmsArkavel im so sorry they did that, no one deserves that man. I wouldnt take it to heart but I know it hurt. Like I said im here to listen if anything like that happens again
the amount of tears I had to pull back while trying my hardest not to cry is just brutal man
W kiwi
Your local goober that looks at your window
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every singular bad event on this timeline feels like a bullet going through my flesh, it just hurts every time. and that moment where I had to just slowly walk to my house in the wet rain wearing my hat and NOT tell my parents abt it at ALL just feels like the last remaining piece of sanity I had left had just been stabbed
@KiwiFarmsArkavel you'll find your people one day, even if its not today or tomorrow, there will be a day and that day wil be the one you've been surviving this to see. I believe in you
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@cv7mp said in my time here:
@KiwiFarmsArkavel im so sorry they did that, no one deserves that man. I wouldnt take it to heart but I know it hurt. Like I said im here to listen if anything like that happens again
the amount of tears I had to pull back while trying my hardest not to cry is just brutal man
@KiwiFarmsArkavel you can cry a planets worth, feel what you need to, at least let yourself have that
𝑾̲̅𝒊̲̅𝒕̲̅𝒉̲̅ 𝒕̲̅𝒉̲̅𝒆̲̅ 𝒊̲̅𝒏̲̅𝒌̲̅ 𝑰̲̅ 𝒔̲̅𝒐̲̅𝒘̲̅, 𝑰̲̅ 𝒄̲̅𝒂̲̅𝒓̲̅𝒓̲̅𝒚̲̅ 𝒚̲̅𝒐̲̅𝒖̲̅𝒓̲̅ 𝒘̲̅𝒆̲̅𝒊̲̅𝒈̲̅𝒉̲̅𝒕̲̅.
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that was last year but at least it's stable but at the same time not really, abandonment, digital trauma, and years of mental bullet-shots have brutally damaged me to the point of no return.
W kiwi
Your local goober that looks at your window
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that was last year but at least it's stable but at the same time not really, abandonment, digital trauma, and years of mental bullet-shots have brutally damaged me to the point of no return.
@KiwiFarmsArkavel within time youll heal, life is like combat in a sense. you fight for your buddy next to you, and id call you my buddy
𝑾̲̅𝒊̲̅𝒕̲̅𝒉̲̅ 𝒕̲̅𝒉̲̅𝒆̲̅ 𝒊̲̅𝒏̲̅𝒌̲̅ 𝑰̲̅ 𝒔̲̅𝒐̲̅𝒘̲̅, 𝑰̲̅ 𝒄̲̅𝒂̲̅𝒓̲̅𝒓̲̅𝒚̲̅ 𝒚̲̅𝒐̲̅𝒖̲̅𝒓̲̅ 𝒘̲̅𝒆̲̅𝒊̲̅𝒈̲̅𝒉̲̅𝒕̲̅.
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@KiwiFarmsArkavel within time youll heal, life is like combat in a sense. you fight for your buddy next to you, and id call you my buddy
@cv7mp said in my time here:
@KiwiFarmsArkavel within time youll heal, life is like combat in a sense. you fight for your buddy next to you, and id call you my buddy
idk how I'm gonna do ts physically but hugs you -
i fell asleep ahh, hugs u back
