a vent + partial break tw: guilt? (idek with more tw, ig warning)
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partial break meaning ill talk to very few, this break will last maybe about 3 days - a week. i will still mod and do all of that...
my vent:
for the past few months ive gotten out of a very... bad... place- and im starting to have what i feel are severe mental thought patterns- i belive the last place i was in justified hurting me... physically and emotionally... i think that it feels strangely like im always cautious and paranoid being in a good home.. because with how ive been treated, i feel im not good enough... i was treated like a monster, now im treated as societys civillian... but... i thought i was a monster... i dont know- it just makes me sick thinking of eating good food, im used to frozen group home cassarole... i havent drank water in abt 2 days now and to be honest- the weight loss was from weeks ago when id go days without eating.. its not right... it dosent feel right, it dosent feel normal. this good but wheres the bad? when.. is the bad... im scared the bad will be soon... im scared one day they will take me away and stick me somewhere else..as of now, ill only respond to close friends or people im with. for however long this will last (at max a week) it shall.
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i dont wanna keep pretending im ok Infront of people just so they wont walk away, this is how ive been feeling for a while- im just finally talking about it.
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i need no comments, notice, remorse, sympathy or pity. i just want this to be seen and brushed off. im starting my break as of this reply.
