I need to seriously admit some things.

st4tic

hey loser, what's your stance on the whole situation you admitted to partaking in?

SumRandomLoser

@st4tic I have only told everyone the sole truth, and I need everyone to read this so they can understand how grave my actions were. I apologize to everyone. Also, this does not change the fact I left my cat trapped in a box for three months and haven't checked in on him since. He was only being fed off of melted cheddar cheese dips and Skittles.

Everything I said here is true, everyone. I'm sorry. Besides, I also gave out everyone's address to the Martians and they have now declared colonization. That means my regret can only go to a certain extent until the end of humanity.

SumRandomLoser

guys. Have NO MERCY. Edit EVERYTHING YOU CAN FIND

SumRandomLoser

If anyone sees my cat, please check on him and see if he's alive... if he is, then please keep him in the box I left him in and tape it shut.

Citrussahh

How do you edit?

SumRandomLoser

@Citrussahh you just have to be In @everyone . then you click the three dots and Then edit

Citrussahh

@SumRandomLoser Ohh ok

SumRandomLoser

I like eating plants I see out there without knowing what they are. It's a fun hobby! But that doesn't change the fact I keep people I meet in my basement alongside my neighbors dog. It's all missing dog posters here and there, but they never suspected I was involved in anything or even bothered to check my house. They're so stupid!

that means st4tic is also in my non-existant basement /j

But anywho, I can confirm mint is best consumed piping hot with a bit of milk, sugar, shrimp, cheddar cheese, and a pinch of crushed medication (it doesn't matter what). I call it the "mentally insane's stew". The only minor side effect is that you'll pass out for an hour... but it's definitely worth it! Even better if you leave the milk outside the fridge for a week.

Wait... Is it mint or clovers...? Silly me, I forgot! My vision was already impaired by the contaminated snake meat I ate earlier. Or was it scorpion meat with thos weird plants I found, like I ate last week...? Don't do this at home either way, kids!

Citrussahh

Holy the SumRandomLoser situation is crazy, can’t believe that actually happened

SumRandomLoser

@Citrussahh yess yes he so problem-attic :scareemovee: -totally not loser

st4tic

i'm literally kicking my feet editing these is so [censored] fun </3

SumRandomLoser

Static i love your edits lets get married /J /JJ

st4tic

@SumRandomLoser you're going to catch me eating at taco bell before that ever happens (it's never going to come to fruition)

(...yes i know that's a joke lmao </3)

SumRandomLoser

@st4tic Whatever, not like there's time for that before the Martian colonization either. Anyhow, have I mentioned the fact I kidnapped ten Fortnite players last night? As a symbol of my good faith in them, I also let them try a taste of my delicable snake meat and parsley for dinner! They enjoyed it so much, they've been in a deep sleep since yesterday. They're so lazy! Don't they know it's time to wake up already? they're probably dreaming of a ranked battle royale to be THAT Sleepy.

UnpaidIntern

my rhymes are fire,
please hire

SumRandomLoser

@UnpaidIntern ouuuu hires you

st4tic

why hire someone over the rhymes you made yourself during the time you admitted to such actions, loser?

SumRandomLoser

H...Hire...? Oh NO, silly billy! I meant FIRE! Like the thing that's going to spread through their workplace in a few hours. I made the rhymes myself and they describe exactly what I'll do after I finish forcing the people in my basement to continue playing... Oh, wait, no. I forgot I already disposed of them in the nearest dumpster! What fools they were, never waking up again after my delicious meal...

Who knew making a sauce out of milk and twenty crushed expired Benadryls over the snake meat would make them react that way...? I thought it was quite the common recipe! I eat it every weekend and it's never gone wrong for me! ...But when I eat it all by myself, though, I usually put in only two Benadryls... But whatever! I only multiplied the amount by 10, since that was the number of guests!

...Oh, but how could I possibly forget it was supposed to be twenty Benadryls in total, and not in each guest's meal? Oopsies! I guess that's why they didn't get up again...

st4tic

(literally going through EVERY message and seeing what's editable </3)

the loser situation is crazyyyy. i didn't know you ate random plants off the street and made concoctions with them. or that you pissed on the bathroom walls. or that you kept your cat in a box for three months. what next, are you going to steal an entire store aisle consisting of canned food?

SumRandomLoser

I might do that- oh, wait, I already did rob an entire Walmart last week! They were forced to close the store, and then I blackmailed the manager to avoid reporting me to the police! Who says a little bait doesn't save lives?