what have i done with my life atp dawg im runnin outta ideas

@topratedsalesman
guh? ME? uhhh ivy.... ivy eats twigs with me when i'm bored

You can complain.
You can whine.
You can treat me like Shit when I try to Cry.
You may look like a woman.
You may smell like daffodils and lilacs and whatever "Beautiful" women smell like.
You could've tried to help.
You Should've helped.
Should and Could Aren't Actions, Are they?
YOU weren't a woman in his eyes when he hit you.
Just like how I'M not a man when he throws me.
You're not Beautiful.
I'm not Handsome.
Two perspectives.
Both believe they are correct.
Two Religions.
One accepted and Embraced.
The Other Treated as if It was the reason Children get Assaulted.
You had said She loved me. Had said it was okay to like women.
But What you didn't say was that I needed to leave.
Needed to leave before i got Sexually Assaulted.
The Warning signs were there.
That girl had put out cigarettes on my arms.
That Girl was Twenty-three.
I was Fourteen.
You're not a mother.
Just like He's not a father.
You called me slurs when I broke up with her.
"She had a Nice family!"
"She was the best thing you could've ever HAD, Pollen!"
But she wasn't the best thing I had when I woke up with Burns on my Chest and Blood between my legs.
But she was the best thing to you.
But HE isn't the best thing You've ever had, Mom.
You've said the bible was the thing to follow.
But you got married while pregnant.
Wouldn't that be AGAINST the bible?
You complain about me spilling things from how shaky i am.
The shakiness I got from years of abuse.
You complain about So much, And I complain about so little.
I don't complain about how I can't stretch.
I don't complain about Being Sexually Assaulted.
I don't complain about how it hurts to breathe.
You would.
I'm more fit to raise a child than you ever will be.
You let a Two year old have a mirror collapse on her.
That two year old survived.
That two year old is going to be Seventeen this year.
You let a three year old get dunked in a boiling tub.
That Three year old Survived.
That Three year old is gonna be Seventeen this year.
Those children are me.
A Child Who's tried his hardest.
I wasn't being watched.
You were drunk.
You'll never be a Beautiful Mother.
I'll never be a Handsome father.
I'm breaking down.
Everything is coming to light.
you're turning into him
I can't stop that Change.
But I can Delay it.
I can delay a young mind from following the Leaders.
You Cannot.
The scale will always choose you.
Hate will always Choose me.

Dear reader, This may never make sense to you.
But if It does, Thank you.
If it doesn't?
I'll explain.
My mother is turning into a horrible person.
Like my Father.
I don't want my sibling to follow that path.
I don't want my Little sister to not care about SA, Child Abandonment, Hate Crimes, Abuse, Pedophila, Sexual Assault, SH, Or Human Trafficking.
And if that means I have to Help her care, I will.
Because our parents aren't trying to do that.
Because I am a victim, No matter what way you try to put it.
My mom is one too. But She glorifies it.
"He Still loves me!"
He does not.
I'm never gonna Glorify horrific things like that.
I hope my sister won't Either.
And before somone says "CALL CPS!!"
I Can't.
Just like I couldn't do it on my other rants.
I have to think of two people If I call CPS.
When She turns fourteen, I'll go to court to try and get custody of my little Sister.
So SHE'LL have the choice to come with me.
Because I know the moment I Leave, She'll get abused too.
I don't want my little Sister to deal with that.
I never would want that.
So I'll wait to save her.
Or Die trying to do just that.
-Sillyz.

@Evil-Overlord you're about to HATE what i'm gonna do.

Abusement park was a really nice one.
so was Deathly sick uncle rp... I can explain this one. I was uhm... Roleplaying as a Deathly sick uncle, while my friend Renn was my nephew who had also become deathly sick, and we were begging our friend Essie to caretake us....,., (CH3SI lore right here)

ahsbhihghisihfseyfiifebhifbfsbhf
im chewing on this one man its sooooo chewy
jfenfnafn cnjcucu
atataghhghghghghg

im crunching this in my mouth. I'm GNAWING on this like a hamster. its so [censored] yummy

MIGHT devour this. You'll have to make another drawing man..... but my fatass might eat that too....

@niconiconico LIGHT PINK AND YELLOW. LIKE THEIR HAIR

uh.... Could I ask for a Vega themed one..? From... From Jackpot Crash Course..?

lovely all pronoun using smarty pants

@SweetLikeTarmac My job on this site is to make people giggle more often than not!!! :'3

i made my username astro,

my homepage is astro, even my pfp is astro!

the wall my bed is pushed against?

covered in photos of astro.

my fanfic drafts?

astro.

my recent crafts?

Astro. [censored]. Novalite.

I SWEAR IM NOT LOSING IT I JUST LIKE MAKING STUFF OF MY F/OS....
(btw the images are just to get them out of my files for a bit)

guys on a scale from 1 to 10 how fucked am i if my friends find out that i yumeship with astro....??? (most are astro fans and hate astro yumeshippers)

also NO you will NOT be accessing my pinterest acc bc that shit is PRIVATE!!!! (people be WILD when it comes to yumeshipping)

He did it Again.
My room is trashed.
All because i forgot where my phone was.
There are beads all over my floor.
It took me MONTHS to organize those.
it'll take MONTHS to organize them again.
and he said i can't have my phone back until I clean his mess.
Mark's a [censored] piece of shit.
I can't even call CPS because he would have to approve the number.
I'm typing this on an mp3 player, of all things, so SOMEONE can hear my perspective.
I didn't mind the beads.
then he went for the big yumeship shrine i have of 007n7.
the one with so much of my art.
he broke my crayons.
The crayons that crayola doesn't even MAKE anymore.
I'm drowning, and nobody can hear my cries.
I'm not gonna make it out of this house alive, am I?
I'll probably die before 18.
due to him deciding that choking me is a good way to put god and jesus back into my soul.
I wish my brother would save me and my little sister.
My little sister doesn't deserve to see her older sibling getting choked, getting slammed into the wall, getting dragged against concrete.
but she has to.
All because I'm his little ragdoll who deserves to feel pain.
-sillyz.

i swear if anybody guesses the one reference i used for this (the choking image), im eating paper.

I've lost everything.
my tablet? Taken (Was told i was going to get it back in a week or two, which was around a year ago.)
My switch? taken. (Wasn't told when i was gonna get it back.)
Nintendo DS + 3DS? Taken. (Wasn't informed of the items being took from me.)
My [censored] INTERNET BROWSERS ON MY PHONE? GONE. (Mark won't let me update them, so i can't use em.)
MY WIFI PRIVILEGES?? MY [censored] WIFI TURNS OFF AT 8:45.
IM LOSING IT, AND NOBODY EVER LISTENS TO ME, SO IT'LL NEVER BE FIXED.
I WANT ONE THING THAT ISNT PART OF MY [censored] PARENTS CONTROL, AND I'LL NEVER GET IT, BECAUSE NO ONE'S COMING TO HELP.
"We'll help you CH3SI! We're your friends after all!" NO YOU [censored] WON'T. YOU'VE DONE NOTHING TO HELP. YOU'VE JUST SAT THERE AND WATCHED AS EVERYTHING I AM CRUMBLES AWAY.
HALF OF MY CLOSET DOESN'T FIT, BECAUSE NOBODY CARES TO GET RID OF THE OLD THINGS I HAVE.
IM SUCH A CRYBABY BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS TOLD TO SHUT UP WHEN I EXPRESS ANY EMOTION.
"Why don't you call CPS?" "Why Don't you just ask?" "Why are you crying?" "Why'd you stay up so late last night?"
It's always a question to my problem.
never a solution to it.

@Sup3rSwaggyy1983
MIGHT have to eat you to gain ur skills. maybe. i will.

@Emma_isnt_here
"you're not cute, You're not quirky, You're just a [censored], roblox."
like, genuinely roblox. let me have a good day. This is why i'm writing fanfic of mr david baszucki and one of his former department heads and posting it on SCRATCH.MIT.EDU BABEYEYEYEYEYE AHAHAHAUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

but seriously, as someone with really bad acne that i pick at daily, that joke pissed me off. i was gonna stab something if i didn't Chew on paper [censored] to calm down.

yes. ii2 hc art. yes. headcanon list.

paintbrush:
they're one of those LONG bristled brushes... (long hair/bristles), has paint steaks in said long bristles, got paint on themself, has one of those peices of string to hang them up

lightbulb!!!
cracked bulb bc shes a [censored] klutz, star thingy inside her, moss growing inside of her head due to it being an open space, bandage and sticker to hide cracks in her bulb, can put Baxter in her bulb due to the crack

testy bestie!
angel wing glasses thingy, little angel wings bc shes like that, cracked head, sticker from lightbulb, lab coat..... :'3

taco.
cracked her shell.... we can see her taco meat now.... thats it.

suitcase!!
little thingys on her straps!! uhh fish and star keychain that matches with knife... yep. that's it.

trophy!!!!
added "PARTICIPATION" to his rim, filled with dr fizz bc yang uses him as like, an oversized cup, gave him low poly handles, has a varsity jacket!!!

knife!!!
thick [censored] brows. (only time im drawin those.) has chips in his blade... bc i said so. has a keychain hole with keychains in it... (fih and star to match suitcase) fuckass little wings.

nickle!!!!!!!1!!!!!11!!!!!
has stuff hot glued to him by fan, (most of it is on his back) has braces bc hes a METALMOUTH AHAHAHHAHAAGGAHGAGGAAHHHAHAH

Tissues!!!!!!!!!
eyes are lopsided, has spiral cheeks, runny nose...

yinyang...
(i did NOT know how to design these two with decoration)
uh yang has a bone thingy glued to him, yin has a star. yep.
...im too unc for this.
this feels like a guess who my favorite ii2 character is but its insanely edited to leaning at base ii's cast

I've been in a DROUGHT of art sites.
like, the desert... but DRIER.
uhh but I had an Idea...
"What if I test art sites, Whiteboards, and some art apps!!"
so, i did.
im running out of ideas...
BUT, here's the gist. I draw something dumb, and we see how good it is!!! :3
NOTE: I USE MSPAINT FOR MOST OF MY COMPUTER ART, SO THIS MAY BE BIASED

the whiteboard sites... sigh

i had little hope for these, but they performed better than i thought!!!

1: Figma.

I had little hope for Figma, as it gave me a ONE HOUR TIMER before it killed my art being saved... but it saved itself.
custom colors, good overlay for highlighters to make reds and oranges, a GOOD image upload system, it came with greatness for how little time it gave!
9.5/10

2: Excalidraw.

This is a GREAT site to draw with your friends! (that's why you see the other doodle in the top)
but, there are drawbacks. Depending on what mode you're on (light or dark) colors change! so this lovely drawing of the old 007n7 avatar looks weird to my friend who uses light mode!
8/10

3: Whiteboard fox.

there are things that are good! base whiteboard fox is not one.
if i had premium, i'd be cheering!
but i dont.
for the free version, you get very few colors, no layer use, and limited brush sizing!
though it IS good for collab art... but not the best.
:(
5/10.

4: Web Whiteboard.

Web whiteboard has a save timer, like Figma, BUT, butbutbutbut! Web whiteboard's timer is 24 hours!
I REALLY liked this one. I found out they had layers later into me testing this one, but even before that, it was...GREAT!
they had custom colors, for FREE, unlike whiteboard fox...
custom highlighter colors, custom sizes for brushes, it has a LOT.
and i like it for that!
9.5/10

THE ART SITES... gulp

let me just get the worst out of the way.

1: Sketchpad.
It was so bad (IN MY OPINION), that i couldn't even properly draw anything without getting mad.
custom colors? sure!
brush sizing? uh huh!
tons of brushes? yep!
but layers? they're one per brush stroke.
too much clutter.
i hate it.
it COULD be better to some, but not me.
-1/10

2: Kleki
oughhh kleki i love you so much your so good...

ITS AMAZING.
it's useful for newgen digital artists!!! (trust)
you can use it on switch, mobile, and desktop/Laptop!
layer settings are peak, they have a GOOD lasso brush, a mirror tool for both x and y axises, and have a simple interface!
10/10!

3: MSpaint...
(THIS MAY BE BIASED!!!)
i LOVE this.
sure it's basic, and artists complain abt it, but it's my MAIN ART SITE for computer art!!!! :3
10/10!!!!

4: WigglyPaint

simple, but fun! ts is too silly...
uhhh [censored] what do i say... uhm... custom 3 colors are cool/gen
erm... 9/10

5: KRESKA

this one is GOOD. it reminds me of ibispaintx, but cooler ig..? (bc the freeness on chromebook/my main device) i like having halftone brushes... too... (im too tired for this.)
they have mirror for x and y axis, sketch brushes, and have pressure/brush speed...
uhm.. 9.5/10!

6:IbisPaintX
my GOAT.
I use this for my mobile art!!!! :'3
good stabilizer, though it is getting annoying with ads,
great brush making ability, though i do wish they didn't change the free brushes to 4 hours.
8/10

I need to get this outta my drafts.
i eat soap.

WOOOOOOOO YIPEEEEE GOOD JOB YANDEREMENHERA