My fcked up sleep schedule is going to kill me.

[Luana.vasper]

I am on the verge of losing cognizance everyday. I'm trying to push through it, though. The lack of sleep has made me absolutely stupid, and I think it's making my depression worse.

I can't go to normal, though. The thought of having a normal sleep schedule seems disgustingly sinful. Sleeping? Eight hours of it? Daily? At nighttime where everything is best? No, no, no. I will not. I can not. I won't do it or have it. Eugh...

I'd much rather sacifice my wellbeing so I can have real alone time, where I can actually be myself since nobody's watching, where I can like what I like, feel how I feel, engage in my interests, have my own opinions, and interact with people again in a dark room swaddled in my comforter, bedrotting with a packet of cookies at my side until 7:12am (the time atm) because I have to eventually put the switch up and face yet another day of insufferable frustration. I wake up at 9:00-10:00am most days, for a reference.

dramatic sigh...

God, help me.

I hate when I have to put the switch up and dread the sight of the morning already rising behind my blinds before I close my eyes and try to sleep at least 1-3 to even 5 hours until my alarm awakes me into psychological torment with the enthusiasm of a romantic peacock.

Rahhhhhhh

This is long sorry. Thanks for reading my semi-vent or smth ig

[macnscream]

I feel u bro
Im either spending my time here or doomscrolling while semi conscious

[Luana.vasper]

@macnscream Semi-concious is so real omg. Sometimes I feel like I'm not even real.