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GenesectG

Genesect

@Genesect
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Recent Best Controversial

  • Cockney parrot
    GenesectG Genesect

    A guy walks into a pet shop looking for a pet, as he glanced into the back room he sees a beautiful parrot all alone in a cage so he said to the pet shop owner "is that parrot for sale?"
    "Not really said the shop owner you see I’ve sold him twice before but he always gets brought back because he is so big headed".
    The guy said "no problem I like a challenge so I’ll take him".

    When he get home with the parrot he takes the cover off the cage and immediately the parrot says "I’m a cockney parrot and I’m hard as fü@k", he keeps repeating it all afternoon.
    So, the guy thinks i'll cure him and he goes back to the pet shop and buys a kestrel, takes it home and the parrot immediately says
    "I’m a cockney parrot and I’m hard as fü@k", so the guy pops the kestrel in the cage and nothing happens.
    Next morning when he goes downstairs the Kestrel is dead at the bottom of the cage and not a feather ruffled on the parrot.
    "Told you" said the parrot, "I’m a cockney parrot and I’m hard as fü@k".

    Right said the guy I will cure you this time so he gets a Peregrine from the pet shop and again pops it in the cage with the parrot thinking this will sort him out!
    Still nothing happens.
    Next morning when he comes downstairs the Peregrine is dead on the bottom of the cage and not a feather ruffled on the parrot.
    "Told you" said the parrot, "I’m a cockney parrot and I’m hard as fü@k".

    The guy is really annoyed now so again visits the pet shop and gets a Golden Eagle thinking there is no way the parrot is going to do this bird. Again he pops the Eagle into the cage with the parrot and again nothing happens.
    Next morning when he comes downstairs he sees the Eagle dead at the bottom of the cage and the parrot without a single feather on his body.
    "What happened here", said the guy?
    "I had to take my coat off for that b@st@rd".

    Cockney parrot
    #joke

    Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

    Via: http://www.jokesoftheday.net/joke-Cockney-parrot/2021110297

    Forum Archives jokes comedy

  • By Mystic241
    GenesectG Genesect

    Today, I went to check my mail but there was a guy standing at the mailbox. I said, "Hey, get the fuck away from there." It was the mailman. FML

    Via:
    https://www.fmylife.com/article/sorry-dude_374679.html

    Forum Archives fml comedy

  • Inside Chernobyl: We stole Russian fuel to prevent catastrophe
    GenesectG Genesect

    Staff at the former nuclear plant tell how they were forced to negotiate when Russian forces took over.

    Via: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-61048256?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=KARANGA

    Forum Archives news

  • By Anonymous
    GenesectG Genesect

    Today, my husband ended an argument with, "Do you want to know why people don't like being around you?" FML

    Via:
    https://www.fmylife.com/article/go-on-why_374740.html

    Forum Archives fml comedy

  • By DeniseT26
    GenesectG Genesect

    Today, at the hotel I work, I was at the pool folding towels. A girl comes in wearing a thong bikini bottom. Our rules prohibit thong swimsuits. When I pointed it out at her, she called me a “jealous fat bitch.” Turns out she left a one star review on Google, saying I was “rude” to her. I got written up. FML

    Via:
    https://www.fmylife.com/article/the-customer-is-mainly-an-ass_374772.html

    Forum Archives fml comedy

  • Imran Khan: Pakistan PM on brink as confidence vote looms
    GenesectG Genesect

    Pakistan's prime minister warns that if he is ousted, he won't recognise an opposition government.

    Via: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-61047585?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=KARANGA

    Forum Archives news

  • [spicy] | By Anonymous
    GenesectG Genesect

    Today, I did an actual double take when my son complained about having to block the phone number of his most recent one-night stand when she got pregnant, but luckily he gave her a fake name, so he doesn’t have to delete his Facebook. How many grandkids do I have out there you little prick? FML

    Via:
    https://www.fmylife.com/article/he-gets-around_372288.html

    Forum Archives fml comedy

  • Will Smith banned from Oscars for 10 years over slap
    GenesectG Genesect

    The Academy voted on Friday to sanction Smith after he slapped Chris Rock at the awards show.

    Via: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-61018821?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=KARANGA

    Forum Archives news

  • [spicy] | By Gina
    GenesectG Genesect

    Today, my date cried because his mom recently died. Of course, I was sympathetic because I'm a nice person, but he tried to leverage my sympathy into a blowjob in the restaurant toilet. Since we "obviously weren't going to work as a real couple", it was apparently "the least I could do to make him feel better." Creep. FML

    Via:
    https://www.fmylife.com/article/nice-try-loverboy_374716.html

    Forum Archives fml comedy

  • By Anonymous
    GenesectG Genesect

    Today, some completely out of touch with reality woman told me I didn’t deserve my house I bought with my own money, because it’s a 4 bedroom yet I live alone, so I should give it to her unemployed ass and her 6 hungry children. She wouldn’t leave and stood in my garden fake crying for 4 hours. FML

    Via:
    https://www.fmylife.com/article/get-off-my-lawn_374668.html

    Forum Archives fml comedy

  • By Anonymous
    GenesectG Genesect

    Today, and like most days, I spend my day pretending to be happy just so other people won’t suspect anything, then as soon as I get home I just collapse on the sofa miserable, and eventually fall asleep only to wake up the next day to do it all over again. FML

    Via:
    https://www.fmylife.com/article/same_374709.html

    Forum Archives fml comedy

  • By Anonymous
    GenesectG Genesect

    Today, after I decided to see what would happen if I didn’t text my boyfriend first in the morning, I haven’t heard from him in two days. FML

    Via:
    https://www.fmylife.com/article/play-stupid-games-win-stupid-prizes_374739.html

    Forum Archives fml comedy

  • Ukraine: Six weeks of devastation and defiance as world grapples with the crisis
    GenesectG Genesect

    The BBC's Jeremy Bowen takes stock of the war and its significance for the world.

    Via: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-61027292?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=KARANGA

    Forum Archives news

  • Ukraine war causes giant leap in global food prices, says UN
    GenesectG Genesect

    The UN says the conflict has spread shocks through markets for grains and vegetable oil.

    Via: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-61036715?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=KARANGA

    Forum Archives news

  • Kramatorsk: At least 1,000 at railway station when rockets hit - witness
    GenesectG Genesect

    An aid worker says Kramatorsk station was crowded with evacuees at the time of the blasts.

    Via: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-61036740?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=KARANGA

    Forum Archives news

  • 'Mariupol is a graveyard': Evacuees recount terror of Russian assault
    GenesectG Genesect

    Survivors from the besieged city say they wondered at times if the rest of Ukraine had fallen.

    Via: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-61035565?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=KARANGA

    Forum Archives news

  • Israel: Palestinian gunman killed after deadly attack at Tel Aviv bar
    GenesectG Genesect

    He was found after a huge manhunt following an attack on a bar which killed two people, police say.

    Via: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-61021186?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=KARANGA

    Forum Archives news

  • Ukraine War: Kremlin spokesman Peskov admits 'significant' Russian losses
    GenesectG Genesect

    Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov called the Russian casualty rate a "huge tragedy" for the country.

    Via: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-61033173?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=KARANGA

    Forum Archives news

  • Boss Rush Mode Now Live In Metroid Dread
    GenesectG Genesect

    Hope they give you plenty of missiles.

    The second part of Metroid Dread's update revealed in February is now live.

    An update has just dropped that introduces the Boss Rush mode. The mode requires completion of the main game, and is a race against the clock to see how fast all of the game's bosses can be brought down.

    It does not appear that difficulty level matters for unlocking the mode.

    Read more...

    Via: http://www.nintendoworldreport.com/news/60121/boss-rush-mode-now-live-in-metroid-dread

    Video Games & Consoles News news nintendo

  • Ukraine war: Sharing space with the dead - horror outside Chernihiv
    GenesectG Genesect

    The BBC visits Yahidne village, where residents packed in a basement lived alongside corpses for days.

    Via: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-61030090?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=KARANGA

    Forum Archives news
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