how to not get hacked

[maple]

before i say anything, this is all satire, fictional, hypothetical, in-game, educational, and a joke so pls dont ban me

so i was looking for websites for the resource center and i came across a particularly sus site. so i thought "huh, this is weird" and i typed ''' three apostrophes in the search bar. and it returned a database error !! so i did a little more testing and it turns out, this popular video game website was vulnerable to a sql injection exploit. in 2025????
for context, this type of vulnerability was mostly phased out of existence like a decade ago. but basically i was able to obtain a FULL COPY OF THW DATABASE. email addresses, passwords, ip addresses, EVERYTHING on the website.

so heres a lesson to everyone: um if you make a website , dont be dumb. update your software, use secure coding practices. and if youre a user, use strong passwords!! when passwords are stored in the database, theyre basically encrypted and the encryption key doesnt exist, so an attacker would need to manually guess the encryption key/plain text password. this is an oversimplification but still. BE SAFE AND DONT GET HACKED

[seesaw]

@maple what if... Instead of being safe from the hackers... I became the hackers y'all needed to.... Be safe from??

[maple]

@seesaw c-can you hack me.... pls..

[Sup3rSwaggyy1983]

h-hack mwe t-too.. :3

[seesaw]

@maple wait... I gyatt to get past the fire wall first... Be patient twin..

[seesaw]

@seesaw owwe I got burned never mind 🥺🥺

[seesaw]

@Fr3akalici0us1 guys I can only get past so many fires walls before the burns hurt owes owe owe AAAAHHHHGGGGG

[Sup3rSwaggyy1983]

@seesaw i-i h-hope the fire consumes you w-whole. The flames buring the remains of your body to c-crisp.. the everlasting embers w-will be cherished f-for your b-bravery.. (idek wtf im yapping abt )

[seesaw]

@Fr3akalici0us1 I got grilled a little too well... Not enough to be ashes tho!! Anyone want barbeque ribs??

[Yanderemenhera]

this is why we love you @maple

[Sup3rSwaggyy1983]

@seesaw yk that one episode of Barbies life in the dreamhouse where shes eating the ribs? yeah, thats how im eating

[seesaw]

@Fr3akalici0us1 ohh WE EATING GOOD EYYY.. wait... No wiat I'm the one getting eaten guys this isn't funny no more

[Sup3rSwaggyy1983]

@seesaw Too late, now shush, my Baby Back ribs takes ginormanasourus bite outta you

[Yanderemenhera]

what the actual fuck chat.

[seesaw]

@Fr3akalici0us1 GUYS WAIT NO- my bib cage... The dog is gone from my bib cage no last time I'm being a hacker bruh

[Sup3rSwaggyy1983]

@seesaw gng, im hacking into your meat with my teeth

Now, now.. you aint going nowhere.

[seesaw]

@Fr3akalici0us1 Frick this baka life man.. I'm gonna miss you all... Lesson learned.. Do NOT try and hack ppl, you WILL find out what happens if you mess around

[Yanderemenhera]

if a hacker hacked me they would just feel bad for me

[Sup3rSwaggyy1983]

@seesaw it too late now, buddy iv already eaten 1/3 of your body, and im working my way through the rest.

[seesaw]

@Yanderemenhera this is so true... I felt very bad when I was hacking... I had to stop...