tell me your best jokes :P
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this is one of my favorite jokes I've ever heard. ik it's long but trust me its worth reading
I couldn't remember the exact words, so this is copy and paste sorry;
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship.
One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm.
He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on!
The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"
The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command.
The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my brown pants!!!'
"Mad drippy, hella trippy"
SB-1110-8815-0652
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TWO SCIENTISTS WALK INTO A BAR
The first one says, "I'll have some H20, please!" (pretend 2 is subscript)
The other says, "I'll have what he's having," pointing at the first scientist.
The first scientist storms out of the bar, angry that his assassination attempt has failed.
"My power increases in proportion to my fashion sense - I'm everybody's ex-wife."
JOIN THE KNIVES CHAU FAN-CLUB
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this is one of my favorite jokes I've ever heard. ik it's long but trust me its worth reading
I couldn't remember the exact words, so this is copy and paste sorry;
Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship.
One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm.
He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on!
The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?"
The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command.
The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my brown pants!!!'
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BDNS DATABASE Switchbru Tomboy :3 king von †ΝΙΚΕ_LUVAS† Emo kids The Dark Side TIM BURTON 🖤 Guitar peeps ♬⋆.˚ Spider-Man 🕸️ Anti Cringe i love cats Jane Remover Orange_cats nugs not drugs indie game fan Animal Crossing Gang orange juice >>> apple juice Stay Sober 𓍊YellowJackets𓍊𓋼𓍊 chronically online #TRTS The Mari Empire Jaiden's Bus Metallica MF DOOM lvrs Spotify ig certified money maker of bdns money lovers invader zim fans RACK$ ON ME 🤑 I ♥ Green Day Froggy gang Nintendo Switch Users gleeby glorp Hide BDNS Ads did the dew ｡･ﾟﾟ･Vent-Friend 2.0 We <3 Gir i never sleep at night KOROK LOVERS Bugz high af join if your gang THE BIG BACK SQUAD Shark fans -*Angel*- kendric > drake 👼Child Of God ✝️ i ♥ weezer I ♥ Nirvana Sneakerhead Egg Dog Autistic peeps hamster gang Swagg_c3rt1fi3d<3 neurodivergent ken carson PRETTY GIRLSS ⊹₊ ˚ 999 CLUB ˚ ₊⊹ Lil Peep Fans🔥 Ryan= bisquito Counters ♥BrowseDNS Children's Table★ •Cat Gang• Music freak fans :3 simps Strawberry Milk ##adhd certified crackhead slim shady gang My busdriver is playing mitski 420 Hip Hop fans Gang stalker D e p r e s s i o n . . . Random People Ig Dark Humor Club Fml straight allies! W Silly Fellas I HAVE THESE<LUCID DREAMS WARNING! STUPID! ☆†Υ²Κ†★ Anti-Clanker `Gravity Falls` true crime lovers i throw soda cans at biggots heads ☆★! Converse !☆★ Crazy In Love. Alex G ★1NT3RN3T K1DZ★ Goth/emo/scene/other :3 Ⓐpunk/hXcⓔ PKM FAN Linkin park Damn is 😂🎉 Chaotic People Rappers NOCTURNAL IMA BURN IN HELL, but<3 Basement Dwellers insanity Misfits fans INVADER ZIM - The Takeover Silliest Goobers -+EARTHBOUND+- Gengar my beloved purple gang Verified Invader swaggy girl I ♡ My BF G59 psycopathic Cool Cats gang Zero Ultra womp womp Outkast fans Radiohead krendrick lamar Тотя Papa's Pizzeria BADDIESSS haha you cant see this text GenderFluid Melt Ice
@_Izzy_ thanks
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TWO SCIENTISTS WALK INTO A BAR
The first one says, "I'll have some H20, please!" (pretend 2 is subscript)
The other says, "I'll have what he's having," pointing at the first scientist.
The first scientist storms out of the bar, angry that his assassination attempt has failed.
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@saphirecrown1 my dumb ahh doesnt get it:(
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@saphirecrown1 my dumb ahh doesnt get it:(
@_Izzy_ its an offshoot of another joke, the second scientist is supposed to say "I'll have some H2O too!" but it is heard as "H2O2" which would kill you if consumed
"My power increases in proportion to my fashion sense - I'm everybody's ex-wife."
JOIN THE KNIVES CHAU FAN-CLUB
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@_Izzy_ its an offshoot of another joke, the second scientist is supposed to say "I'll have some H2O too!" but it is heard as "H2O2" which would kill you if consumed
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There are 100 bricks on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
00 bricks on a plane.How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
The door won't shut.How do you know if there's a giraffe in your fridge?
The elephant isn't there.The king of the jungle invites every animal to his birthday party. All attend but one. Who?
The giraffe, he's still in the fridge.Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. She does so safely. How?
The alligators are at the party.Sally dies anyway. Why?
She was hit by a mysterious falling brick.Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
It was dead.Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
It got hit by the first koala.Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
It thought it was a game and wanted to join in."My power increases in proportion to my fashion sense - I'm everybody's ex-wife."
JOIN THE KNIVES CHAU FAN-CLUB
-
There are 100 bricks on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
00 bricks on a plane.How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
The door won't shut.How do you know if there's a giraffe in your fridge?
The elephant isn't there.The king of the jungle invites every animal to his birthday party. All attend but one. Who?
The giraffe, he's still in the fridge.Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. She does so safely. How?
The alligators are at the party.Sally dies anyway. Why?
She was hit by a mysterious falling brick.Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
It was dead.Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
It got hit by the first koala.Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
It thought it was a game and wanted to join in.writing all of this made my powerscaling level higher i am now street level
