Am I the asshole here-?

Snoopy

Damn that's a lot

haydencc08

can i get the summary? i tried reading it and my eyes crossed

Supie-Chan

@haydencc08 I meet with this group every Friday for a PBL project where we’re supposed to work together to solve a real problem, but it’s honestly really dysfunctional. The leader doesn’t listen to anyone and shuts me down before I can even talk. The other guys are super dismissive, even though I’ve explained stuff like my hearing issue in my right ear, that I sometimes need to be directly spoken to in small groups, and that I’m new to PBL, they just don’t care. If I’m clearly stressed or upset, they’ll even mock it. When I try to help, they don’t like it, but if I don’t do anything, they get mad at me. I ask simple questions or bring up reasonable concerns and they either don’t answer properly or just ignore me. I know I’m not perfect and could do better too, but even when I actually try, they still treat me the same way.

Supie-Chan

@Snoopy
Yeah I think most of it is cuz I was ranting bout that creep.

haydencc08

@Supie-Chan tbh i didnt think youd actually type out a summary lol... anyways yeah i think theyre definitely being jerks for not including you and the thing with your hearing suks too... i have a stutter so i kinda get it... sometimes ill try to say something and it wont even come out but you can tell that im stuggling so most of the time people just ignore me and by the time i do get out what i was trying to say it doesnt even matter anymore becuase theyve moved on... sorry this is about you not me. ummm yeah im kind of a whimp so i dont really speak up for myself so im sorry i dont have any advice for you but you definitely didnt do anything wrong they just need to be more inclusive and stop acting like jerks.

Dr Nefario

This post is deleted!

Snoopy

YOU ARE BOT THE ASSHOLE

? Offline

ok so i read the whole thing and those people are absolutely disgusting! First off, that creep NEEDS to be reported, spreading rumors and making explicit comments about you?? That's a problem, from what your saying his behavior is basically harassment and he's probably going to be worse as an adult. I hope you cut him off completely, don't let him MAKE you sit next to him, thats a huge violation of your boundaries and once again, kind of harassment.
Anyways, can you ask your teacher to switch groups? the way these kids are treating you is actually unacceptable and NO teacher who cares about their students should allow it (not to be dramatic but it sounds like straight up bullying, especially if it's enough to make you cry) i actually feel so bad for you, the kids in your school are genuinely disgusting, and you're definitely not the problem.

I know its easier said then done but you shouldnt let any of them treat you the way they do! Don't let them tell you to shut up or mock you, thats mad disrespectful and you shouldn't let people think they can talk to you however, even if it's scary, sometimes you have to defend yourself if you want people to respect you.
not to be THAT person but sometimes cussing people out is necessary if they are repeatedly disrespecting you and ganging up on you and violating your boundaries

Supie-Chan

@_Izzy_
I HAVE reported him and groups are final =_=
Also I do try to defend myself and I have cussed them out and yet nothing has changed and for some reason everyone thinks they're right. Like that girl I mentioned everyone seems to eavesdrop and ig I'm the bad guy cuz I cant handle a project. Like yes yes I have done projects before- ALONE and never like this!

? Offline

@Supie-Chan you can't just "try", its not easy but you have to be confident and assertive, if you only "try" to defend yourself and fail to actually stand on business people will only respect you even less and clown you for it.

I know it's harsh but that's just bullying works, this situations is terrible but it seems your on your own so your gonna have to toughen up if you actually want them to leave you alone

I think before you handle them you should work on building self confidence, i know it sounds hella random but maybe try working out or boxing workout routines so you're more confident about your physical strength and ability to defend yourself so when you ARE assertive it's more genuine (theres many boxing workout videos that you can do for free without equipment, some are as short as 10 minutes long if you have a busy life.)

Like i said im not trying to be harsh, but as someone who's gone through the same thing (except for that creep situation you mentioned) all that "ignoring" and "tell the teacher" stuff doesnt actually fix anything and you WILL have to assert yourself properly if you don't want to be pushed around your whole life.
it's scary at first but most people wont actually fight you over it and even if they do (and you do lose), they'll likely leave you alone after just because they know you're willing to actually fight them in the first place.

As soon as I started cussing people out most of the conflicts I had stopped, but you have to ACTUALLY be confident and GENUINELY assertive, don't be afraid of these losers who think they're the shit.