A rant about microlabels

[BBQboi-_-]

As a pansexual who’s been out for 5-6 years, I’m speaking up: microlabels in the LGBTQ+ community are largely unneeded and counterproductive. They don’t build real connection or bring people closer to the broader community. Instead, they create pressure to chase a “perfect” label with endless flags and micro-qualifiers, turning identity into more of an aesthetic than shared reality.
This makes the community seem like a joke, and it genuinely embarrasses me as a pansexual to be associated with it. If it’s making someone like me this uncomfortable, it definitely pushes homophobes even further away. That’s the opposite of helpful.
Demisexual isn’t a special identity (legit normal human attraction) Most people are biologically wired to need emotional connection first. Stop turning basic biology into a microlabel. (I’d argue asexual and aromantic shouldn’t be part of the community, but that’s a separate conversation.)
Abrosexual doesn’t even follow the rules of what a sexuality is supposed to be. It defines no consistent sexual or romantic attraction. It’s pointless.
I’d rather have people unlabeled and outside this trend than pretend it’s progress. Enough with the aestheticization i feel Simplicity unites and this divides and discredits us (even if modern gay culture is still embarrassing and ironically feeds into stereotypes and heteronormativity TvT)
This isn’t a space to be blatantly homophobic. Not all microlabels are bad. Just my thoughts—what do you think? Address the topic directly, no whataboutism in the replies.

[_Izzy_]

This post is deleted!

[Yanderemenhera]

isn't pan a micro label of bi or am I missing something with that? I get a different answer from everyone I ask and I am curious to hear your thoughts on that @BBQboi-_

[_Izzy_]

@Yanderemenhera pan ppl dont care abt your biological [censored] or gender identity

[BBQboi-_-]

@Yanderemenhera pan and bi are completely unrelated and on different sides of the spectrum,bi is attraction to men,women and nonbinary people with a gender based preference and pan is attraction to all/multiple genders with no/weak gender based preference

[Yanderemenhera]

@_Izzy_ that makes sense

[_Izzy_]

i feel like ppl can just be gay and bi, gay for homosexuals in general and bi for bi and pan ppl, and ace for ace ppl, anything else is doing too much TvT (even tho pan is different its still kinda a stretch and embarrassing to explain, when i told my mom she just said im basically bi:/ )

[Yanderemenhera]

@BBQboi-_ i'm glad I finally got an expenation from a pan person, I hear people who aren't bi or pan explain it and they describe bi and pan as being basically identical

[_Izzy_]

@Yanderemenhera i usually just describe it as not gaf, if ur cute ur cute TvT

[fyodor]

Now I have question for you, how would you prefer the community to value others without using micro-labels?

[BBQboi-_-]

@Adam_ gay,straight,bi,pan and if you believe that aromatic and asexual should be included then you put them in there and then boom evb is happy and can just go unlabeled if they wanna be hyper-specific and now evb is more United

[_Izzy_]

@Adam_ u can value ppl with putting a hyper specific label on them:p the whole pride thing is basically for all non-straight ppl, thats the poing of the rainbow flag so all the extras are unnecessary TvT

[Ventrell]

i think lgbt is enough but i do see yall point woth pan but im not sure isnt bi the same because @_izzy_ said pan is basiclly if your cute your cute bi is th same right ?

[_Izzy_]

@Ventrell bi ppl care abt like gender (y'know like pronouns vs biology) pan ppl dont care

like bi ppl wont date non-binary ppl but pan ppl will

its all stupid and lowkey doesnt matter at the end of the day, just date who u like, all of the labels are unnecessary, they can just say their gay/non-straight TvT

after talking abt it pan is lowkey a OD identity bc it only matters bc of the concept of gender which technically doesnt have to do with sexuality since ppl say theyre separate

[BBQboi-_-]

@Ventrell I have a more detailed and defined explanation based on the widely accepted definition in the community,that was obviously a joke/watered down explanation and even then it’s not at all the same as bi 😭

[Ventrell]

@_Izzy_ ohhh i see now so it shpuld rlly be lgbtp*. Another question what dpes "q" in lgbtq stand for

[_Izzy_]

@Ventrell q stands for 'queer' which is just... non-straight and non-cis TvT

it should just be homosexual and Queer TvT
if i could change it id have gay just mean liking the same gender in general and queer is everything else and thats it, instead of lgbtzhwj community just the queer community:p

[w1ckedsticky1983]

@BBQboi-_ this genuinely comes off as ignorant, homophobic, uninformed, and incites hateful ideology whether or not that was your initial intent. Everything here can most likely be refuted by simply stating: 'just because you don't particularly connect with a label, doesnt mean that nobody else in the world does.' (stay with me here) also, I do hope that you do actually read my response and keep an open mind because I'm not writing this to come off as morally superior and condescending, I'm just blatantly telling you that this is flat-out wrong.

You claim that micro-labels don't bring connection and pushes people away further, but the main reason why people in the queer community made these labels is because they don't connect with the standard "gay" term. In a community filled with people who are already dysphoric and feel disconnected to general society, you claiming that these labels have zero meaning just pushes the narrative itself that that queer people themselves arent worthy and should feel invalidated.

God forbid that people who have already been shamed, othered, and hated can finally find labels that make them feel validated and bring them solace.

Not only that, but you saying that these labels don't have any meaning and that you are embarrassed of your own community only makes it immensely easy and simple for homophobic people to continue to perpetuate their bigoted beliefs. The main reason why you believe that this would harm the community further is because it makes us seem like as a "joke", but people who would even consider to view the queer community as a "joke" already have a negative viewpoint of it in mind. There being extra labels won't affect what they already believe because majority of the time, homophobic pigs are opposed to any open-minded beliefs to begin with. I'd say its most likely just people being stubborn, but you can't really help if the person is willingly being ignorant and hateful and stopping people from finding euphoria certainly won't affect this either.

If homophobic people see that queers themselves have a distaste towards their own community, then it just gives them reasons to even be more hateful because: "why shouldnt I hate these people if 'insert slur''s themselves don't like them?" It's counterintuitive if anything. It makes you come off as "oh,,, I'm not one of THOSE gay people...!! I'm one of the GOOD ones!" Which, plainly just divides the community as a whole and perpetuates the belief that homophobic people have the right to feel the way they do just because you don't believe that the labels have any meaning.

I think you just generally forgot where the word 'queer,' as used in the lgbtq came from, which it's plainly obvious to find out where the initial word and meaning was derived from. It literally comes from the word "queer," which means to be 'different,' 'out of the norm,' and, well, weird. Which, is what queer people were seen as throughout history. Hence why they use the term.

The same logic can be applied as to why labels such as arosexual, asexual, and other labels similarly to those are indeed validated and should be considered part of the queer community just as any other gay person should be. Especially since being asexual means to have little to no attraction to anyone, regardless of sex and/or gender. Usually, having no sexual attraction to anyone is regarded as being "weird," hence why it fits into the "queer" term. I dunno, just wanted to bring this up since you did.

Furthermore, id also like to add the meaning of what being Demisexual is because, while you're not entirely wrong, but there's so much more to it than just 'wanting to get to know the person better.'
Demisexuals fall under the Ace/asexuality umbrella term. Demisexuality is a term used to describe individuals who rarely, or never, experience sexual attraction solely based on immediately observable characteristics. These can include physical appearance, smell, etc... Demi's can only experience attraction after developing a deep bond with someone. Which, strays from the general norm of basic lesbian or gay attraction that relies on the sexual attraction of gender and genatalia. It's obvious that you'd feel attracted to someone if you enjoy their company, beliefs, and them as a whole, but loving someone for their mind and body is different.

I'd rather have a shitton of labels and terms for specific sexualities because at the end of the day, it harms no one and only brings comfort to the individuals who already have felt horrible for expressing who they truly are. This isn't even me trying to be "progressive," I'm just blatantly stating that just because you, yourself don't feel connected towards these terms and labels doesn't mean that anyone else doesn't. There's a reason why these labels exist in the first place and why they're actively being used today by thousands of LGBTQ people.

After all, having micro-labels don't take away from the meaning of the umbrella terms such as gay, bisexuality, and even pansexuality. It's called a micro-label for a reason, so whenever someone says: "I hate that it's lgbtqwiznskwka instead of the standard lgbtq!!1!" It just comes off as hateful and uninformed to me.

Obviously, I believe that people are more than their sexual identities and shouldn't be so hyper focused on these labels, but that's how everyone thinks. Especially since throughout history we've only ever been taught to see ourselves through the sex we're born as.

Although, I won't deny that modern-day queer culture feeds off of stereotypes and makes everything aestheticized. Id actually love to have a conversation regarding this topic, but that's a whole other discussion.

Anyways, these are just my thoughts. Once again, I don't intend to come off as rude, condescending, or morally superior, so please don't respond back being rude either. I don't want you to get in trouble over a discussion as simple as this, especially since you just became unbanned.

[Aries]

@BBQboi-_

I don't have much to add since Swaggy's already said most of it, BUT. I think that you're saying all of this while identifying as a micro label yourself. You can argue it's not all you'd like, but technically you like both genders just like bisexuality the only add on is everyone. I think that by you posting this it'll only make more people be afraid to say who they actually are, especially when those from their own community don't support them either. I've known I liked girls since 10, and over the years i've struggled to label that because I did still like boys but it was mainly girls so I felt like the bisexual or the lesbian label didn't fit me. Then I discovered the term 'homoflexible' which does fit me, it shows me that i'm not alone in feeling like this even though i've hardly heard that label be talked about. Uh- yeah rant over. Also, Happy pride :3